A client told me about a sexual trauma that she had last year.
"But I don't feel anything about it", she said to me insistently, and was almost unwilling to do tapping on it. When I asked her to check with her inner eye, she could imagine a rusty U-shaped metal shield placed around her heart.
I asked if it was alright for us to accept this "dont feel anything" feeling and yet still proceed with the therapy.
When we explored further and did more tapping, WOAH... everything came wooshing out. There was lots of hatred and anger (for good reason), and she had a good time punching a pillow, imagining that pillow to be the man who sexually abused her.
After all the tapping we did on what turned out to be a myraid of emotions, we ended the session with her feeling like she could now forgive herself for what happened. Best of all, she was willing to imagine the man in her mind and send forgiveness from her heart, which she imagined to be like an open flower.
This case was interesting for me, because I also often "don't feel anything", and yet I know there are issues hidden deep within me because of my avoidance to certain situations.
A healer told me that I am one of those people who is hardest to heal, because there hasn't been individual HUGE traumas in my life. Rather, I go through the kind of typical childhood where everyday, people unknowingly hurt me with insensitive remarks and behaviour. As a result, there are tiny invisible cuts all over me. Each of them barely hurting, and yet as a whole, causing me deep emotional pain.
Yet, I am hopeful, that just as how I have helped this client to overcome the protective shield that she put around her heart because of her fear of getting hurt again, I will be able to heal myself by going to other professional healers and also using EFT in my self-healing.
Sometimes we think that we are ok because we "don't feel anything". However there is a real difference between detachment and apathy. When we are detached, we are still able to reach out with compassion, and at the same time, maintain a clear boundary between oneself and the other party. True detachment is the kind that looks upon the situation with warmth and care, and yet not be drawn into it in a negative way.
False detachment is when we HAVE to look away and we can't bear to face it, because of the unconscious fear that it may remind us of old hurts and pains. And since the life lesson has not been learnt, the same problem manifests in our lives again and again, taking different forms and shapes. And the thing is, we can never really run away from it.
But there is no need to. Thanks to simple tools like EFT, it IS possible to face the pain and let go of it.
Let's start by embracing this shield that we may have put up around our heart. In your mind, you may say "Thank you shield for having protected me all this while. I needed you around at that time, but right now, I'm ready to let you go". If that statement was easy to make, then you are ready to face those inner demons with tools to help with releasing them. Face each emotion one by one, and call out the situations that have led to them, and release them with EFT. If this is not easy for you, find a professional EFT practitioner to go through the process with you. We are never alone in this world, but sometimes help can only come if we reach out to ask for it.
Here's a tapping exercise you may want to use so that may become more authentic in feeling your emotions:
Tapping on the Karate Chop point, say "Even though I still need to hold on to this shield, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I am willing to access all the resources within and around me to protect myself in new, healthier ways so that I can move through life with greater grace and freedom!"
Tap on the remaining EFT points noticing the thoughts and emotions that arise as you do so. Finish off by tapping 2-3 rounds of the EFT points and saying "I give myself permission to feel" at each point.
Take off the shield and watch those inner demons of the past fly towards light and dissipate in love!
Lena Chen is an experienced EFT practitioner and author of "Emotional Freedom at your fingertips: How to get from PISSED to PEACE in mere minutes with Emotional Freedom Techniques" as well as creator of the EFT Affirmation Cards. Her expertise lies in helping her clients to heal chronic pains, relationship conflicts and depression. With her keen intuition, compassion and the wonderful efficacy of EFT, she has helped hundreds of people to heal themselves, thus improving their self-esteem, health and relationships. To find out more about Lena, please visit her website at www.lenashealinghaven.com or contact her at lena@lenashealinghaven.com.