Am I looking for what’s right?
Most of us find it real easy to look for what’s wrong. It’s a way of looking at things that we think is ‘normal’ patterned to us by family, friends, our community and our society. We can find all the wrong there is in our jobs, relationships, our government, our kids, and our neighbors, even ourselves.
When we look for what’s wrong, our perception is very narrow. We tend to believe we’re an expert – having an eagle eye, we can zoom right in and flesh out what’s wrong. We even believe the problem isn’t ours, it’s theirs. We also criticize and judge.
We have our beliefs of what they ‘should do’ to meet our idea of ‘what’s right’.
Justifying our position, we’re able to blame others for not meeting our personal needs.
Case in point: I know of a man who is adamant regarding Mexican’s working in his craft. He says the reason he doesn’t have steady work is because they (the Mexican’s) work for less money and he’s very angry that he’s being cheated. To say the least he’s opposed to viewing this any other way. In his sharing he escalates and blames them for him not having enough money to live on and being broke. He really believes he’s right. There isn’t one good thing he could find to say about his boss who hires them, the guys’ work – absolutely nothing.
While he’s gathered a ton of experiences to justify his beliefs, he’s unwilling to be responsible or accountable for looking at the experience from a different perspective. His belief has him stuck.
By continuing to find and believe what’s wrong outside of him self, he can avoid addressing his issues. He gets to be right about being disappointed and upset. The interesting thing to add to this, he finds people to bitch to and they listen, subsequently they share a lot of the same philosophies in life.
Many years ago, a colleague and I went on a trip to ‘scan’ a business to determine the strengths and ‘what was wrong’ – mission accomplished. I returned having a lop-sided report to submit. I found all that was wrong and very little that was right. When my report was compared to my colleague’s – his report was more about what was right – yes, his report included valid ‘wrong’ things however they weren’t the focus or the quantity as mine. His report earned merit. Mine earned me a great learning lesson.
When we start looking for what’s right we can turn anything around. We look for gift, the lesson, and the good in every situation and in every person.
Gratitude!
I have a client who was sharing about his negative thoughts and the effect they had on his relationship with his girlfriend.
He described how they would have good times together and (unknowingly) something would trigger in his head and he’d want her to be at his beckon call; at times he’d want her to forfeit her personal time in order to keep him happy resulting in heated arguments. In session he realized he was anxious about spending alone time by himself and it seemed ‘normal’ to insist she fill his time. When she refused he felt that she’d rejected him. He blamed her. In addition to realizing and taking responsibility for his issue, I suggested he counter those negative thoughts with a gratitude log. I also requested that he take some action steps moving him towards him taking care of himself and to enjoy his relationship.
When he returned the following week, he shared how effective the gratitude log was. It allowed him to focus on the positive. Things had really shifted between him and his girlfriend. His mood swings had disappeared. They hadn’t fought that week – that was a record. He realized that he wanted more gratitude in his life. His focus became what was right in his life.
As we focus on what’s right we feel good. We also feel strong and worthy. Our energy resonates and others are drawn to us. It takes practice to view things from a different perspective – looking for what’s right. It makes life worth enjoying.
Action Step:
Gratitude Log
The Gratitude Log is a format of the things that you’re grateful for. Small or large, both are equally important. This assignment is a three-part.
1)Start jotting down all of the things that you’ve grateful in your life. Chronological order isn’t necessary. As you remember, add to your list.
2)At the ending of your day – preferably right before you go to sleep add the things that occurred during the day that you’re grateful for.
As you jot down the things you’re grateful for review them prior to sleep, you will probably notice your sleeping will improve; subsequently, waking up feeling good will be a whole new experience to enjoy!
3) Start your day by adding to your Gratitude Log.
Start looking for things to be grateful for and remember to add them to your log.
May this find you exploring what you look for in life – the right things or the wrong and the inspiration to acknowledge your own greatness. Without you life my life wouldn’t be the same!
Smiles to you,
Glenda
"Ponderings" © Copyrighted 1998 – 2007 by Glenda Gibbs. Feel free to share. The content may be forwarded in full, with copyright/contact/creation information intact.
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Email:glenda@glendagibbs.com
Phone:509.585.9683
Happy thoughts ... make a great day!
Being passionate about personal growth and spiritual awareness, Glenda Gibbs is a popular motivational speaker, an integrative coach & counselor and she writes Ponderings….
Glenda facilitates individuals, couples and groups to stretch beyond their known potential. Glenda would love the opportunity to work with you by calling her at (509) 585-9683.
Through her private practice at Changing Perceptions, she offers one-on-one sessions, internet/phone sessions, workshops and speaking engagements. If she can be of service or you know someone who would benefit, please call (509) 585-9683.