I used to think that there was a Road to Happiness, and if you could get on that road, you'd end up someplace pretty wonderful, as if Happiness were the destination. I've been on a lot of roads, and although some of them lead to some beautiful places, I've yet to find the road that brings me to that wonderful feeling state called Happiness.
People often think that if they can find the right combination of external factors, they can find happiness. They buy lots of shiny new things; travel to interesting places; eat; drink; use drugs; or search for "the perfect someone" who they believe will make them happy. Mostly they are looking to change their emotional state with external objects or actions.
Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. When you try to look for happiness outside of yourself, it ends up being temporary. You may be happy initially with your new car, but eventually the newness wears off, the car needs repairs, and you end up turning to something else.
Eating too much, drinking or using drugs leads to consequences the day after. People continue to try to find the magic combination, and end up disappointed.
Happiness isn't a specific place, and there isn't a magic way to find it. It is an emotion, and comes from within. This means that we create our own happiness. It doesn't come from external things.
It comes from how we view our lives. How we think definitely affects how we feel. When we approach things with a positive attitude, we usually feel better. Sometimes that feeling is happiness.
Like most emotions, we don't feel that way all the time. Sometimes we feel it; sometimes we don't. We all have ups and downs. This means that there isn't a happily ever after. Sorry, Cinderella.
Nevertheless, happiness is worth pursuing. I believe that happiness is the emotion we get when we are in tune with ourselves. It is what we experience when we are living the life we are meant to live, achieving things we want to achieve, and, most of all, enjoying the process.
All this involves paying attention to ourselves, and what we want our life to be--physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It also involves paying attention to the world outside of ourselves--appreciating other people and nature.
The path to happiness lies within YOU. If you are working to become the best person you can be, and setting and achieving the goals that are appropriate to your values, I believe you are on the Road to Happiness. It's a road you create by how you live your life.
Happiness isn't the endpoint of the trip; it is part of the wonderful process of living! It isn't the road you take to get there, but the trip itself that matters.
(c) 2008 Linda S. Pucci, Ph.D., Inner Resource Center, LLC
Linda S. Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach, trainer and owner of Inner Resource Center, LLC. She has 30 years of experience helping people overcome their limitations and create passionate, meaningful lives. She specializes in helping people get unstuck from negative emotions and limting beliefs that sabotage their quality of life. Get additional tips and challenges for happier living from her Inner Resources report at http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com