Are you unsure why parents might establish a self-control contract for teens? Or maybe you’re wondering whether you need to implement one for your teen, or even for your child? Self-control contracts are a great way to encourage your child to take control of their behavior, to pause, and to manage it properly. Children aren’t born magically able to manage their behavior and feelings, they must learn the tools and skills they need to do so over the course of their lives. As parents, we are responsible for guiding and teaching our children to be the best versions of themselves, and many parents find implementing a self-control contract for their teens is a great way to set them on the right path, and to transform undesirable behavior.
What is a Self-Control Contract?
A self-control contract is a contract that clearly outlines what your child should do in certain situations to uphold as much self-control as possible. Usually self-control contracts have sections for both parents and teens; the expectations of the parent on the teen and vice versa. You can use an already made self-control contract of if you can personalize the contract to suit your family and teen specifically.
The focus of the self-control contract should be to encourage your teen to think before they act and to take time to be calm. The expectations for the parent should include supporting their child and remaining calm – improving your teen’s self-control will be a lot easier if you are maintaining your own self control too.
Many self-control contracts have effective consequences written into them, so the teen is aware of what will happen if they break the contract. This is a great way for your teen to feel motivated to employ their self-control, as to avoid the consequences they do not want.
Do You Need a Self-Control Contract For Your Teen?
This will depend on whether your teen is impulsive or whether they can pause and collect themselves before making decisions or reacting to situations. If your teen already shows signs of self-control or you are simply not concerned about their self-control then you probably do not need a self-control contract for your teen. However, if your teen often breaks out with emotion or acts without thought, then a self-control contract could help transform their behavior.
How to Create a Self-Control Contract
Creating a self-control contract is easy, you can use the template offered on Home Contract or you can just write one based on what is important to your family. If you are writing your own, you should use Home Contract’s self-control contract as a blueprint and just add in specific rules that are appropriate for your teen. Customizing the self-control contract will ensure that it really suits your family.
Have you ever used a self-control contract with your child? Did you find it helpful in managing their behavior?
Jade Robinson has more than 18 years of experience working with Teens and Adolescents. Using his experience, he has developed a system (called Home Contract) that allows parents to easily set up new boundaries and rules with their teens. It is an ideal and effective way to improve a particular habit by implementing a home based behavior contract. More details @ HomeContract.Org