Stress and Conflict

Stress and Conflict

Every machine has natural limitations, its individual capacity. When it is stretched beyond its capacity, it will be stressed. No machine exists that is a singularly whole unit, all machines are merely a sum of parts. And so we can more accurately say that the machine does not get stressed, it is the parts that get stressed. Some parts get stressed in certain situations which leave other parts relaxed or within their limitations and so the machine can still function, although in a far reduced capacity for a limited period of time.

Your mind, company, team or family are all machines in a way just like your vehicle or computer. Many parts are in themselves machines made up of smaller parts. Even what may appear to be one single piece of metal or plastic, what appears to be a single part with no other parts within it is in fact still just a sum of parts; atoms and molecules held together by an electromagnetic or gravitational force. No need to get into physics here, but this illustrates the point that nothing is a singular whole.

For any machine to function properly, its parts must function well. If the parts are stressed, even one tiny part, then the entire space shuttle will explode.

A company or family are both made up of parts which include the people. Those are the main moving parts which endure the most stress when pushed beyond their limits. Given a factory, if the production machinery or computer breaks down, the stress is transferred to the people. Ultimately we can say that the other moving parts of a company are the equipment, but when your computer crashes and you yell profanities at it, it does not jump out of fear and start working. It is only humans who imagine that cursing a machine will make it work. Therefore, the mechanical parts of the company do not experience the same stress that a human does, although a human will endure the same stress as a machine if put under intense physical strain.

Given this and knowing that we must work with the underlying cause of any event in order to correct a problem, we must focus on the stresses that are placed on people that make them malfunction.

Here we must go in two directions. The first is the true capacity and second is the perceived capacity. True capacity is fixed, it has its definite limits. The limit for machines is documented by the designer, and for humans, likewise it is set by nature at an incredibly high capacity, however we take perceived to be true. I fasted for several weeks on just water while continuing to run my businesses which included three stores, one of which was in a food market, talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time! The lack of food did not diminish my capacity because there was a need and nature is able to handle incredible amounts of difficulty if the need is sincerely there.

I am sure you can find many other examples of stress. One that I have not attempted is raising kids, even triplets. That to me would be an overwhelming amount of stress, but many people survive that as well, or from what I have heard, the very limited amount of sleep that some new parents get for a couple of years. You see, we can go without food or sleep and still function if we have to.

Perceived capacity is the problem. This is where we have conflicts and communication issues. My view of your capacity is not the same as your view of your capacity. Further, yours and my view of your capacity is rarely your true capacity. Now we must explore the reason for the different views of our individual capacities.

Let us look at investor expectations of a company. Investors demand higher profits and sales each year. That is against nature as nothing in our world perpetually increases. To demand this of a company is to go against nature and therefore beyond the machines capacity which will stress its parts which will eventually break down with stroke, heart attack, nervous breakdown, or run right out the door.

When enough parts break down, the machine suffers. It is wise to run a machine within its normal operating limits so it lasts as long as possible. Now we must ask what those limits are for a human being which returns us to where we diverted a moment ago.

The machine of the human mind is very complex and made up of many components. By understanding these components we can find the true stress limits rather than the perceived ones.

Our mind is constantly being programmed to think in a certain way. Because we are not aware of this, we do not see that we are being programmed and then falsely believe that our opinions are our own. That is the first cause of errors.

Second. Our current society is following a path of political correctness. This encompasses the concept that by changing a word we can change the reality. This in fact is obviously false and a distraction. If you know that wood will burn and now I say we shall call wood metal, you will say metal but think wood and still put it on the fire. If you told someone who does not know of your change of labels to put some metal on the fire, they would think you a fool or simply get wood. Changing the name does not change reality.

Because of this attempt to avoid reality, we are increasing the avoidance of seeing the natural stress limits and this is the root of many conflicts. Names have changed but humanity is still the same, and creating new names to make you sound like a partner when in fact you are still just an employee will not give you any less stress or increased feeling of ownership if your pay and power remains the same. It is just a way of avoiding the reality of your position to live in a lie, which in the end can only create more stress.

As a machine is stressed or overloaded, not only does it not perform according to its design, but it may do many unpredictable things. This we all know about with computers. Why did it do that!

Humans are the same. Learn about the machine of your mind and find the natural conditions and path a person or company should take to function without becoming overly stressed to breaking down. Follow this natural flow through increase and decrease back to increase without avoiding reality and stress levels as well as breakdowns will significantly decrease.

With the decrease of unnaturally high stress levels, the components will function smoothly and you will find that recovery from any negative situation becomes quick, far simpler and of course far less expensive. This applies to a business event or a personal one in the workplace or at home in your relationship. All to often a couple will fight about an irrelevant issue due to one or both being overstressed from unreasonable demands made at work. Are you the recipient or the creator of this stress in your company?

It is clearly shown that negative economic times offer a great opportunity for success. Success in times of disaster is only for the few who stay calm in all situations by seeing the current reality and projecting what the future will deliver by looking back to a similar time in the past.

Those few but highly successful people stayed calm while the rest panicked under perceived stress as they triumphed. I will end with the most important four words which will relieve all stress and worries, if you can understand them beyond the simplicity of their surface meaning.

I will give you a hint of how to find the profound depth and power of these words. As I said above, all things are made of parts, and this applies to a sentence of well put together words.

‘This too shall pass.’