Lessons From The Elders - Wisdom, Experience and Understanding

Some of you know that I am a Medium and have helped many people who have lost loved ones to 'death'. That is, I 'speak with others' who have passed on. It's not my intent to speak about those who have passed on nor impart any information from this perspective. I do what I do, and people find solace and are grateful to have had the experience. This is personal and for me sacred.

I do understand how it feels to loose those people who mean the world to you. As a child, I traveled extensively with my parents to France, Slovenia and Austria. These countries are special for me because that is where my relatives lived. My aunts and uncles, cousins and grand-parents. I did have distant relatives in Chicago (my great aunt, great great aunt, second and third cousins) but I was closest to those an ocean away. As a child, I remember my last day of school already in the air, flying to Paris where we would land and then travel an hour north of the city to begin our visits. Traveling around for 3 months, every year, brought us close together. When we weren't in the same country, phone calls and letters would follow.

One summer in particular, a few years back, I recall asking some of my oldest relatives if they could pass along some words of wisdom for me. Something they can pass along to me, something I can use and remember along way. I remember their eyes would transcend, a moment in between their breaths where you can see a life time of lessons project across their tired eyes. It would seem like eternity waiting for an answer, some insight, I waited with unblinking eyes. I remember seeing their creviced faces filled with experiences I could not, still cannot even imagine. I would spend afternoons with different elders and would absorb their truths, their lessons, their wisdom.

I thought it would be terrific, and again inspired by my dear friend's hub, to share some points with you.

1. Be True To You And Others: At their age, they truly understand what it means to be real. No pretense, no artificial conversation (like we do today with the "Hi, how are you?" All the while people don't really care how you're doing...It's become apart of the word "hi".) It's a matter of saying what you want and don't want. You have the right to change your mind whenever you want. You owe no one anything. If you are true in your heart, be who you are and hide behind no one or nothing. If something is bothering you, say it. People can deal with their emotions. Leave out guilt, shame or other negative states of being. It's not going to serve you in life and you won't be truly happy. Find relationships that work for all- everyone should be partaking in a give and take relationship. Leave out the those who do not appreciate you for you. No time for this. Life is short and it does go by fast. So, you might as well drop the fears and all the other stuff that isn't real and make your life more real.

2. Being Grateful: They spoke about how to truly find the peace within and enjoy what you have at any time in your life. Sometimes you will have much, sometimes you may not have all that you desire. But the secret is loving what you do have. No one takes anything with them to the grave. Remember that, my grandpa used to say. Towards the end of one of my great aunts life she was saddened by how much the generations want and do receive but are not grateful...They don't stop to 'smell the flowers' and they are like empty drums trying to find fulfillment in everything and everyone else. Be without pain, know that what you have is exactly where you should be, and be thankful for the lesson, the greatness, the miracle. And, to add, she said miracles do happen everyday but hardly anyone is paying attention. Pay attention to that which is around you. Being grateful is like bees to honey. If you see life like this, she said, you're happiness will know no bounds. Rejoice!

3. Relationships and Loving Relationships Become Paramount: Many of my relatives have mentioned in one form or other how much they understand the importance of having a relationship with oneself (to know oneself in this world) and to have around you those who are of like minds. Don't waste your time trying to save people, change people or deal with those who suck the life out of you. No. There is no time. You will be brought down and your Spirit will suffer. Be good to you and to those you love whether it's blood family (and only if they deserve your love !) and those friends you make your relatives. Everyone does want love and want to be loved. And, do not allow work or any other obsessive pursuit steer you away from human connections. This is most precious and something that cannot be bought. Plus, I was told by my grandma, it's not worth holding grudges or pain someone has caused you....Learn a lesson and move on with a better sense of knowing - knowing yourself and you in this world.

4. Belief System/Ideology/Knowingness That There Is More To Life: My relatives, except for one, had strong beliefs in the 'after life' so they accepted this wonderful stage/cycle and even embraced the solace it provides. They understand there is no beginning and no end, only time is an illusion. It's all cyclical and doesn't end. Embracing this wonderful sense of finally 'going home' is something my elders celebrated. Some have had their own experience with the 'other side' in their life times and know enough to truly be at peace with what's to come. Death is more about your imagination, my wise grandpa would say. It's an illusion like anything else you fear. Set that all aside and know that with life there is always death. And, it's not a bad thing at all! It's another state of consciousness.

5. Time: It's also something that eludes us. My great, great grandmother shared her views on this very subject. I wrote about it in another forum but I will say that it is something we follow as if it were real. As our time dictates, it would seem time speeds up and slows down. We try to beat the time or be on time. Aside from keeping your mind pressed on time and what you should be doing and could be doing, slow down to truly enjoy friendships, enjoy laughing, crying (!), dancing, walking and singing. Enjoy new company, old company, make it a point to meet new people, learn, share and listen. "Do it all!!" she said to me with a stern and serious look! I felt as if she was speaking to my soaring Spirit at age 12 and it I realized it was o.k to be the gypsy me! Great (!) I thought! Don't let time rule over you, she continued, live and do as if you don't have enough time. LIVE! And, if you should ever come to a point in your life where you begin to only reflect upon the good old times, the past and not live for today, that's when your life will be joyless. It's about today, right now, and as we know today is a gift to receive, our present! Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is today's gift!

If you have more to share about that which you heard through your wise elders, more wisdom to share, please drop by and share with all. I look forward to hearing from you!