I know that dealing with the pain of an affair can make you do and think some pretty outrageous things. A lot of women may even feel compelled to confront the other woman in an affair, however, before you do that, there are a few things you really need to know about her.

First, she isn’t your enemy. A lot of women will be quick to assume that the other woman is her enemy or competition. This leads many of them to confront the other woman in an aggressive way. However, this woman is not your enemy. Though it may seem that she is stealing your husband away from you, you cannot look at her as the one responsible for the affair.

Remember that the ultimate decision to cheat came from your husband. This is a problem with your marriage and not a problem with another woman stealing your man. Your husband has the power of free will and for one reason or another, he chose to cheat.

Second, she isn’t doing it to hurt you. Although it is easy to take things like this personally, you have to understand that the other woman in an affair isn’t trying to hurt you. In fact, most of the time she doesn’t even know you.

She might know that your husband is married, but chances are good all she knows about you, are the things your husband may complain to her about. This, of course is not a realistic picture of who you are.

She may not even know that your husband is married. A lot of men will hide the fact that they are married, so you can’t really blame her for what she doesn’t know.

Third, she is probably just an innocent woman caught up in a poor choice. If the other woman isn’t your enemy and she isn’t deliberately trying to hurt you, you have to realize that she is just an innocent person caught up in a poor choice.

In all likelihood the choice wasn’t even hers. It was your husband’s poor choice. Instead of choosing to deal with the problems in your marriage directly, your husband chose to look outside of the marriage for answers.

The other woman, in most cases can’t be blamed for the affair. She just got caught up in the circumstances of your husband’s inclination to cheat.

Chances are, you won’t find solutions in confronting the other woman. You will only find drama and heated arguments. The affair is a problem in your marriage that you need to work out with your husband.

So don’t be quick to attack, blame, or accuse the other woman. Remember, that in the end, your husband made the choice to cheat on you and you need keep in mind that this problem has more to do with him than it does with her.

Author's Bio: 

If you'd like to learn more about what to do about the other woman in an affair, be sure to check out my website Why Do Guys Cheat.

Alex Haight is a relationship writer helping women with relationship problems and specializing in affairs and infidelity.