You always have the choice to blame or to be accountable. Think about it. You could probably find someone to blame for every event that happens to you if you really wanted to. As a matter of fact, many people actually do this. It’s an easy way not to look in the mirror. But, where are your answers? Do your resolutions toward growth lie in somebody else’s choice or in your own choices? If you want to blame others, you certainly can. There’s nothing really stopping you, but what lessons or skills will you gain? Truth be told, the answer is “none.”

Blaming is a way to avoid accountability of what you contributed to the situation. And there is always something that you contributed to the situation. Until you learn accountability for your own choices, life is going to continue to bring you this lesson over and over. Each time the lesson presents, the consequences of an unlearned lesson become increasingly more powerful. Life is trying to teach you the lesson of accountability. The smart thing to do is drop your ego – you really don’t need it, and admit what you may have contributed to the situation. The next time the situation arises, make a different choice. You might have to try a few different formulas until you find the outcome you desire. Then, it’s over, and you’ve learned it.

But no! So many people think that admitting what they’ve contributed to the situation has a negative reflection on them. This is an egotistical, self- judgment, ignorant, and avoidant statement. Though I agree, it’s really so much easier to blame someone else. Anyone can do it. However, the only reward is that you get to do it again the next time the lesson presents. It’s much harder to look at yourself. Haven’t we learned that lessons cost. Lessons are never free! It’s the challenges in life that grow you. There is no joy in repeating the same lessons over and over again. Joy is the reward of positive choices, and you certainly should appreciate and be grateful for joy, but they are not the events that grow you. Once you learn to value and be grateful for both (positive and negative choices), life will reward you all the time.

Guilt is very similar. It’s is a reflection of fear. Guilt is an attempt to self-punish. Why would you choose that? What could you possibly have to gain by choosing guilt or worry? Their only purpose is to keep you stuck in a lower level of deficiency needs because you think you might either be pleasing someone else, or because you think you made a mistake. Mistakes are simply opportunities to grow. You only have one life; are you going to choose to give it up based someone else’s judgment? Is the person you’re having guilt over gaining anything from your choice? Ever? What could they possibly be gaining? Other than staying stuck at a lower level of deficiency? Do yourself and others a favor and let guilt and worry go. THERE IS NO BENEFIT AT ALL (TO ANYONE) WHEN YOU CHOOSE GUILT OR WORRY! In reality, you are only projecting a negative fear energy, which actually damages yourself, others, and the universe. Stop it! Let it go! Choose accountability!

Author's Bio: 

Cherie is a Holistic Minister and a Licensed Professional Counselor. Cherie is the co-owner of Lotus Holistic Life offering Life Coaching, Self-Help Curriculum, and Holistic Products as well as Lotus Life Mastery offering Online Clinical Psychotherapy, Hypnosis, Affiliate Program, and Free Articles. Cherie is most interested in working with client in transitional stages of adulthood. Cherie is available to teach seminars in her local area. Visit Cherie at