Helping Those In Grief

There are times in our lives that inevitably we will become face-to-face with grief. Or somebody and anybody in grief for that matter. Friends and family are there ready to support and help loved ones, and helpers often alleviate those who are grieving. There are some practical suggestions on how to give appropriate help in their trying times of sorrow. 1.) Allow the grievers to grieve. With your presence, you can be of crucial help even just to lessen the pain and agony they are going through. Be more understanding and patient though. 2.) Expect some changeable reactions from the bereaved.

Obviously, they are still on an emotional transition and much prone to more volatile moods. 3.) Be present to them in grief. The griever shared their loss and sorrow with you. It is only fitting to give them your undivided attention. It is very valuable to them and it could be a form of healing as well. 4.) View the sorrow and loss from their point of view. Their loss is their own and unique. You can never really feel their pain without actually experiencing it from their perspective. 5.) Maintain and give an appropriate emotional space and ample time from the griever.

Do not try to make their loss as if your own loss. 6.) Inspire expressing verbally the memories and feelings of the one who died. Talking about the deceased is also therapeutic for those afflicted with grief. It helps them move on from their mourning and begins to build a new perspective. 7.) Help the mourner accept and recognize the loss to avoid being in a state of denial. 8.) Listen with understanding and compassion. Try to be as non-judgmental as you can. 9.) Give the bereaved the permission to talk, cry and reflect without unnecessary interruption. 10.) Help the bereaved with enough data about the grieving process.

Insure them that they are not “crazy” and what they are going through is all a part of the mourning and grieving process. 11.) Assist the griever with some daily useful tasks (making important phone calls, shopping for family needs, driving to banks, taking the kids for a couple of hours, and any other errands to help them ease the burden). 12.) Be more informed about some grief-related issues and provide tender sympathetic care. 13.) Be very helpful and kind and always keep in touch. 14.) Encourage therapy. 15.) Motivate counseling if action and behaviors appear to be extreme or pathological.

16.) Bear in mind that even evenings, especially holidays, and weekends may be more difficult for the bereaved. 17.) Help the griever avoid insincere expectations as to how they “should” be feeling and when they will feel better. It is more fitting and compassionate to say, “I do not know how well you are able to manage this as you do.” 18.) At some appropriate time ask the bereaved to accompany you to some activities or outings with you. 19.) Encourage the bereaved to participate and join support groups.