I Am Granting You Permission to Feel
By Jodi Michele Cooley
Jodi Michele Cooley Enterprises

Most of us were not granted permission to express and experience our feelings. I am on a mission to change this. As the creator of the Feel It Thru method, my intention is to transform lives by reigniting our relationship with our deepest and darkest emotions so there is no longer an obstacle preventing us from living out our dreams.

Growing up, my childhood experience when it came to feelings was, “What are you crying about? If you don’t stop, I’ll give you something to cry about”. Or I got the, “It’s not that bad.” The bottom-line, I was not allowed to feel or express emotions that were not in alignment with my parents’.

Through therapy, coaching, books and CD’s …I’ve learned and accepted that we as human beings have a range of emotions, whether it be anger, sadness, joy, etc. that it’s okay to have these feelings so long as we process them in a way that is of service to us.

With the Feel it Thru Method, I ask three simple questions. Through asking these questions we are initiating a relationship with our feelings. What do feelings have to do with it? In everything we do there is a feelings attached. In everything we don’t there is a feelings attached. In everything we want to do there is a feelings attached. In everything we don’t want to do there is a feelings attached. That’s how important it is to have a relationship with our feelings. The answers to all our desires and purpose in life are there in our feelings.

The 5 senses inform us of what’s going on in our world: HEAR, SEE, TASTE, TOUCH, and SMELL. Our senses are there to keep us safe in the world that we live in externally and internally. Our perception of situations is what makes us all unique human beings. Some of us may have similar experiences, but they are never exactly alike, just like a snowflake or a fingerprint.

The senses are part of the “gateway” to our feelings, they either say fight or flight, like or dislike. Our senses are our radar system as they know what we are supposed to do, but when we’ve been shut down by outside influences such as family, mentors, friends, etc., we go against our instincts and unfortunately, we take to heart the statements we hear from others like, “That’s stupid, or wrong, or dumb.” We, therefore, start reacting in an inauthentic way to our natural selves. We develop masks to help us survive in the world so we can be liked, approved of or fit in.

The problem is, most people don’t want to “see” us go through our feelings-they are inconvenient for them. They don’t want to be a witness; they want “you” to be in immediate solution. Feeling feelings is uncomfortable for others to let “you” go through what needs to be gone through because it triggers something they’ve been through in their past…which might not feel so good for them.

When others witness people having feelings, most of the time people are uncomfortable. They want the person to get out of this “feeling”. They want to solve it for the person immediately and not give the person support, dignity and permission to go thru what they need too. Or they completely invalidate and demean that person’s process. They say things like “you have no reason to be scared” or “it’s not that hard”.

Watching others have feelings can also be scary for some. They might have been a similar situation in their lives and maybe at that time that person’s behavior was violent and unpredictable.

Rarely do we get what really needs to be done. Just someone to just listen. To be a healing witness. Tell them they are sorry for their pain. But nonetheless, it’s their pain. That’s how simple it is. But as children we aren’t taught that. A lot of us learn this as adults and can be that person. It’s like going against the grain at first. Because the bottom-line, everybody likes to be heard. They want to tell their side of the story. And they don’t want feedback. They don’t want a solution. They are just in the bottom of the hole and they want to sit there. But somewhere along the way, we’ve learned that it’s not OK to be at the bottom of the hole.

Promise yourself today that you will give yourself permission to feel what needs to be felt in your life right now. Then ask yourself “what can I learn from this feeling?”

Lastly, take time to listen a friend. Just listen! Most of us feel compelled to give other’s opinions, judgment, or suggestions, rather than just listening. Just listen and the only thing you are allowed to say is, “I hear you”.
When you feel the strong desire to say something, DON’T.

Encouraging you to empower yourself to feel. When you empower yourself to feel, you are helping others empower themselves to feel.
--Jodi Michele Cooley Empowerment Coach, Speaker, Trainer and Creator of the “Feel it Thru” method.
Jodi lives in Los Angeles, CA. She’s a Professional Speaker, coaches people privately and facilitates workshops. She can be contacted @ 818-762-4835 or jodimichelecooley@gmail.com

Author's Bio: 

Jodi was raised in a sea of dysfunction: parents alcoholism & physical disability, verbal, emotional and physical abuse. But, she was always resilient. There was something inside of her that kept her always looking for new ways to approach life.

After years of being a professional actress Jodi answered the call of becoming a Massage Therapist and Body Intuitive.

As an adult Jodi was diagnosed with severe depression and was introduced to the work of Louise L. Hay, which she attributes the bulk of her healing soon after she became a facilitator of her work.

Jodi is a courageous warrior. She’s had to deal with extraordinary life circumstances aside from her childhood. Her daughter’s diagnosis of developmental delays, her husband’s bipolar disorder, and her diagnosis of Transverse Myelitis.

In 2007 Jodi incorporated all of her life studies and personal growth to formulate “Feel It Thru” Method. She’s a Professional Speaker, she coaches people privately and holds workshops. She can be contacted @ 818-762-4835 or jodimichelecooley@gmail.com