I awoke this morning to a brilliant blue sky, and an awareness that something subtle had changed. I have a funeral to attend today.
I attend meetings on a fairly regular basis. I am a creature of habit, and have been sitting in the same area of the meeting for years. I look around the room and there is a certain comfort in seeing familiar faces.
There are people that you come across that you don’t get to know all that well for 100 reasons, but do have conversations, the odd dinner together, and each time your in a place together, go out of your way to say hello to each other and share a quip and a smile.
Tonight, as I attend my regular meeting, one of those faces will not be there.
This afternoon I will attend his funeral and say a goodbye that I need to say. He brightened and enriched my life in a way I can’t explain, and I’ll miss him. He loved his motor cycle, and it was gorgeous, and after the funeral he will be taken on his final ride. Many of us will be with him in spirit.
This man was younger than I, wanted a journey to recovery, but never quite got it. I understand his last few weeks were spent in a less than happy place, and I feel bad for not knowing that. In a very sad way, his passing has given me a real reminder- live today. Today is what we have and things change quickly.
Funny, this is one of several deaths I’ve seen among people I have got to know at meetings. They don’t all go directly as a result of their addiction, but in most cases pass from something that should have been avoided by living a more balanced life. Addictions impair judgment.
My father’s premature death was an example that today’s funeral will make real again. In his case, after an early retirement, his drinking took off.
The higher power that I understand gives us all choices. For me, it was only by the grace of my higher power and my higher power looking after me when I forsook myself, that led me to a place where I made a good choice for myself, and began a journey to recover a better life and make use of the good talents that were god given. I make choices daily now that are not impaired, and have had a life that I thought would not be possible fourteen years ago. And it keeps getting better!
Today, in living, I will go and say goodbye to a man I will miss. A close friend? No, but a man who added in his own way to my journey, and a man who was truly a “fellow”.
I don’t need to know specifics about what happened. I know there were people in his life that loved him dearly and cared. I know, just by seeing him as often as I did, that he wanted a better life, and I am aware, that at his end point, his addiction was active. I can’t pretend to understand why things happen and why some find the path and others don’t. There is no logic, only what is.
Today, part of my living is saying goodbye. I will live today, remember, and help others using the gifts I have been given.
My “fellow” will be remembered on his last ride, and in spirit going forward when I glance around the room.
I am thankful to be given the chance to live today!

Author's Bio: 

Certified Life Coach, Addiction Help, Results, www.hopeserenity.ca