Some years ago, a friend of mine said “you sure
do clear your throat a lot.” His comment stuck
with me. Over the next few weeks I noticed that
I was a chronic throat-clearer, especially during
my conversations with people.

Then I had an awareness that changed my life. As my
wife June and I were planning an upcoming trip, I began
to feel afraid, but didn’t say anything to her about my
feelings. Within seconds my throat began to close and
tighten, and I felt a strong urge to clear it.

Then I made the connection. My throat clogged up when
I was withholding an important communication. So I spoke
up. I said, “June, I’m feeling afraid that I won’t get what I
want. I really want to take our trip later in the year.”

Within seconds, my throat opened up again and our
conversation shifted to a deeper level. After a few
minutes we came up with a creative solution for our
trip that allowed us both to have what we wanted.

When your throat is clogging up during a conversation,
what are you feeling but not communicating? What are
you thinking but not saying? What do you want, but
are afraid to ask for?

Listen to what your throat is trying to tell you. And then
share it with the other person -- if you want to create more
intimacy with him or her. When your words match your
inner experience your throat will be open, your voice will
be clear and your relationships can reach a new level of
authenticity and creativity.

Author's Bio: 

Since 1995, Gregory Newman, M.S. ( has coached individuals and couples in body-centered skills that have made it easier for their lives, relationships and careers to blossom. Greg coaches over-the-phone and in-person and can be reached at 608-274-6962 or