Recovering from an affair is a long-haul. To prepare with that in mind will at least help with your tolerance of yourself. Certainly, because the feelings and thoughts that unfold as you are recovering from an affair will be so uncomfortable that you will want them to change very quickly. However, a huge help would be learning how to cope with such thoughts and feelings.

Objectivity is extremely difficult when a person is overcome with powerful emotions, but developing that skill is essential. Such objectivity will likely come in small chunks, but with the right kind of support and guidance it can be achieved.

Many of the problems associated with recovering from an affair are emotions and thoughts that are greater in intensity than we are accustomed to experiencing, and the very nature of this intensity presents many challenges. How can you approach these challenges? Well, to begin with you will need support and guidance. Much of the support will probably come from friends and family, but regarding the specific changes needed may require professional help.

One of the first decisions that someone recovering from an affair will have to make, is the decision of whether to stay together or not. Of course, that decision may take some time. In the initial period of recovering, the shock will likely keep you from making an objective decision, although for some people it is inconceivable to continue in the relationship.

Either way, there will be much work to do, be that as a couple or alone. There are a number of avenues where assistance can be found: in councelling, books, e-books, internet forums, and more recently hypnosis CD's. In many ways, all of these will offer some much-needed support.

The effects of an affair will impact greatly on both parties, but the violated partner will have the greater challenges. They are the ones who have had no previous knowledge of what has taken place, and consequently suffer tremendous shock upon discovery. The partner who engaged in the affair has already had time to consider all the implications of what they are doing, and has likely considered many things in advance.

As the effects of shock slowly ease away from the recovering partner there will be the opportunity for some semblance of objectivity. The greater the level of objectivity, the greater the chance that the right decision/s will be taken. If such decisions were taken whilst there is a lot of anger present, that may not necessarily lead to the best available choice.

Some couples who are recovering from an affair will endeavour to try and make the relationship work, but ultimately find that it proves impossible. That may well be the case without some professional help. It would be difficult enough with such professional help to hand, but without it would be challenging in the extreme.

Recovering from an affair will usually take years to heal, although there are many cases where relationships have improved as a consequence of the affair. Regardless, the impact will have caused so much psychological damage that careful management of the negative states will be essential for anyone recovering from an affair.

Author's Bio: 

Janice Townsend is a contributor to Getting Over An Affair