What You Don’t Own, Owns You

Now be with me here. I’m about to offer information that might seem a bit out there. Yes, you can delete the whole notion however I encourage you to ponder it.

Bring to mind something that pushes your buttons. These emotions (feelings) are evidence that you have healing to do. Interesting thing about this, many of us will continue to have our buttons pushed and blame the other party. While busy blaming, we might be defensive and maybe argue our point. Arguing and being defensive are mechanisms to keep the wound within protected.

While the ego is doing a great job protecting our wounds – having us believe that no one would understand, we aren’t enough, coupled with all of the other things we believe to be wrong with us – the ego snowballs our thoughts.

Your wounds own you. As you look through the lens of life with your wounds owning you, this energy attracts more of the same life experiences to you. The energy of your wound(s) robs you of enjoying your life. Might you say, it’s not a big deal – I reply: it all adds up.

What we resist persists. These button pushing experiences are like puss oozing from an inflamed wound – we can ignore the puss, put a band-aid over it and it gets worse or we can take the appropriate measures to clean it thoroughly and allow it to heal.

Take a moment and list 5 things that push your buttons. Notice how ‘hot’ they are. Select the hottest and start writing everything you know about it, don’t give any time to thinking about it, just write! Forget about penmanship and punctuation, just write and write. Through this writing you’ll find the source of what activates your button.

The growth continues – to completely disarm the hot button – it includes getting real and admitting and owning the times that you’ve demonstrated the very things you’ve been denying and protecting. Here’s an example: Someone accuses me of not being trustworthy. I get angry and I argue my honor. I blame them for accusing me. After all, I put in an extra mile to demonstrate my trustworthiness. Trustworthiness isn’t the bandit. My reaction is. My reaction is hiding/protecting a wound. Moving within my mind to a place where I admit I’ve demonstrated behaviors where I was ruthless and dishonest and couldn’t stand those parts of myself, my ego came to my rescue. My ego went to work building walls to protect me from that pain, both internal and external. When the pain became too much I sought relief. For me, it’s digging in and searching for that part of myself I’ve buried or pretended to be gone. Once I discover what I’ve been protecting, I feel the feelings of then and give myself comfort, compassion and love.

Too often we judge ourselves unmercifully and there is no way we can accept our humanness.

Now, today as I ‘own’ what’s ‘owned’ me for all these years I’m look for the gold. Finding the gold includes the things I’ve learned from the experience, the strengths I’ve developed and my blessings. I also realize I wouldn’t be who I am without this experience. Embracing this aspect of my self disarms the hot button. This is freedom.

Freedom is a choice. So is a quality of life.

May your week be filled with many freeing moments.


"Ponderings" © Copyrighted 1998 – 2007 by Glenda Gibbs. Feel free to share. The content may be forwarded in full, with copyright/contact/creation information intact.

Email: glenda@glendagibbs.com
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Author's Bio: 

For the last twenty years, Glenda Gibbs has helped individuals and groups of people learn how to embrace conflict and breakthrough what seemed impossible to find collaboration, peace of mind, and achieve their goals. She's helped thousands of people discover how to make their unique contributions in the world.

Glenda teaches from a wealth of experience, both personal and professional. She assists those who want more out life and are ready to re-connect with their essence. Glenda can be reached at www.glendagibbs.com.