***Who's Your Daddy? A Father's Day Tribute

As father’s day approaches, many women either acknowledge and appreciate the gifts their fathers have given them or recoil because of how he “wronged” them. An important aspect of having a healthy relationship is to heal your relationship with your parents. Like it or not, the type of men that women are typically attracted to have many of the same qualities of their dad.

The similarities may not seem obvious at first but if you write down a list of all of your father’s characteristics, you may find a pattern uncovering in your dating life. Some women feel that their fathers are disconnected or unemotional. These women tend to unconsciously fall for the guy who will not commit or do not show their feelings. On the opposite extreme, some women idolize their fathers and no man ever compares to wonderful dad, they are never good enough.

Whatever your relationship is with your dad, it would help to appreciate all the good he provided to you. If you search for his endearing qualities, you will be surprised at how much value he did serve in your life. If you were one of the many women who have been abandoned by their father, you can reframe the situation as if he stepped aside because he did not have the capacity to be a good parent. His absence can also be a gift as his presence may have been more damaging. Everyone is trying to do their best, even if it does not seem that way. Just like you, our fathers are human and aren’t meant to be perfect all the time. If you can clear up any resentment you hold toward your parents, you will discover that your love life will reap the rewards.

This advice comes from my personal experience. I struggled with relationships with men until I was in my forties. It wasn’t until I really opened up and appreciated all the wonderful things my dad did for me (instead of focusing on how he wasn’t the way I thought he should be), that I was able to attract the love of my life. I now see my dad completely different than through the eyes of a sad little girl who waited for a hug from him. I grew up, took charge and held my hands out and asked for one. Guess what? He hugged me back and said “it’s about time.”