To change your life, just let it go. The first two steps to let it go are to accept that it happened and to approve the benefits it's given you, see the previous articles in this Get Over It series.

Acceptance and approval
The first step, acceptance, is complete recognition of reality. You need to stop denying or pretending, and accept that it happened. Approval is the second step where you now recognize more about the situation. You can see the good it has brought you, even though you are not happy it occurred.

The last step to completely let it go, appreciation, completes the process.

Appreciation means that you now recognize its perfection. You've stopped saying it should not have occurred and have become glad that things happened this way. This is often a stretch in extremely unpleasant situations, tough to get your head around, so I'll type very slowly.

This does not mean you liked what happened while you were there, you naturally don't want to repeat it. But you now appreciate that it contributed significantly to your growth. This recognition enables you to say that you're glad it happened, even though you are also extremely happy it's over.

Becoming grateful for the experience is how to let it go. Gratitude suggests you know the universe is on your side, that life provides you with experiences which benefit you. You realize this opportunity to get over it has helped you grow.

Appreciation benefits you!
But until you appreciate it completely, you haven't let it go. Then the resentment, the anger festers, and gets worse as time goes by. Just like an anchor, the past will continue to hold onto you and stop you moving forward.

You're not letting the other people involved off the hook, you're giving yourself the greatest gift of all - freedom. Once appreciated, you'll find that it's even more true to say that it has Let You Go!

How do you know when you completely appreciate it? Simple, you can honestly say you would not have it any other way. You're now at peace in the situation.

There are two crucial questions here. Are you grateful for the value it has given you? Would you prefer it had happened another way? When your entirely truthful answer to these two questions is yes, then you'll be at peace, you'll have let it go.

At no point does this say that you liked the experience. Even appreciating it fully does NOT imply you liked it! You did not like the experience whilst it was happening, but to get over it you need to appreciate the benefits it's brought you! You need to formally declare appreciation as your truth!

Food for Thought
"Even the most daring and accomplished people have undergone tremendous difficulty. In fact, the more successful they became, the more they attributed their success to the lessons learned during their most difficult times. Adversity is our teacher. When we view adversity as a guide towards greater inner growth, we learn to accept the wisdom our soul came into this life to learn."

- Barbara Rose

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Author's Bio: 

A long-term interest in spirituality, combined with the rationality of a scientific education, has given Alan Blake a fascinating edge. His outlook on life combines both these along with many other interests. To change your life, overcome any unhelpful beliefs and eliminate your self-sabotage, check out the change my life page at Life Strategies. The complete explanation of the steps to let it go are here.