Building Greater Relationships - One Shoe at a Time

Building Greater Relationships – One Shoe at a Time

The long awaited camping trip had finally arrived. Our fifth wheel trailer was packed to the gills, our kids were strapped in and the other two couples had started a caravan behind us to our lakeside destination. The lady at the reservation desk had assured Dave that our lake front campsites were so close to the water we would only have to walk a few steps to wet our toes. This was going to be a trip to remember.

The vehicles filled with anticipation as we pulled up to the water’s edge and began to search for our designated sites. At last we spotted them, sites 3, 4, and 5, our waterfront home for the next few days. It turned out that the woman on the reservation phone was correct; we could just walk a few steps, through chigger infested knee high grass, from our RV doors and dip our toes into the water. But that was certainly the only thing that would get wet. The water on our dried up finger of the lake was almost nonexistent. We could literally hop across to the other side.

The initial reaction of the group was as varied as the people we were traveling with. Dave was immediately depressed at his seemingly terrible decision to convince us to come to this pitiful campground. He spiraled into a funk that threatened to remain with him all weekend. Sherry was livid that Dave had not gotten more accurate information and wanted an immediate refund or at least a discount. She urged us all to go back to our trucks and find a new spot to dwell. Jerry found the whole situation hilarious and couldn’t stop laughing. He was here to have fun. An ugly view and tall weeds were not going to ruin his vacation. Patty was busy fretting over the fact that Sherry was so mad at Dave. She began pointing out all the good things she could see about our area to try to restore peace between them.

Here we have four people with similar interests all experiencing the same disappointment, yet their response to that disappointment is so diverse. The variations in their reactions can be understood by looking at their Temperament Shoes. We are each born with a specific temperament that stays with us throughout our lifetime. That temperament dictates the way we walk through life, the paths we take, the mountains we climb, and the footprints we leave on others. Hippocrates named them sanguine, melancholy, choleric and phlegmatic. Those words are too abstract for many of us. Instead let’s classify and identify people by the temperament shoes they are born with:

The All Business Shoe – This temperament shoe files precisely through life striving for perfection. They enjoy working with details, planning, and keeping things orderly. Their appearance is immaculate as well as their work space, home and car. These people are pessimistic in nature and tend to battle blue moods and depression.

The Clown Shoe – This temperament shoe parades through life looking to create the next party. They enjoy meeting new people, telling funny stories and being the center of attention. Their personal style fits perfectly with their shoes. If it is bright, bold, glittery or loud they will wear it, carry it, or surround themselves with it. They tend to attract clutter and lack organizational know how. These people are extremely optimistic and find humor in most situations.

The Combat Boot – This temperament shoe charges through life in pursuit of absolute control. They enjoy a good debate, giving advice and conquering any challenge. Their demeanor and clothing reflect their natural leadership qualities. They work, talk, eat and move faster than the other temperament shoes, so it is best to get moving or get out of their way. These people are optimistic as long as they are in control.

The House Shoe – This temperament shoe drifts through life hoping to find a tranquil spot to dwell. They enjoy a peaceful atmosphere, any relaxation opportunity and walking aimlessly down life’s center lane. Their clothing and lifestyle choices revolve around comfort and ease. Typically shy and inoffensive, they work at blending in. These people are prone to pessimism but nkeep their comments to themselves so they don’t disrupt the peace.

Let’s take another look at shoes of the not so happy campers:

Dave is an All Business Shoe falling into the black hole of depression when his efforts came up with a less than perfect outcome.

Sherry is a Combat Boot quick to assign fault, demand restitution and rally the troops toward a new destination.

Jerry is a Clown Shoe finding humor in a bleak situation and deciding to parade through the disappointment and find the party.

Patty is a House Shoe working to restore peace so the weekend will be covered with tranquility.

Understanding and identifying the temperament shoes of the people in your life will give you an advantage in every relationship. When we understand what motivates them at their very sole we can interpret, predict and appreciate the way they walk through life.

Since my husband Carl and I understood the temperament shoes we were camping with we were able to see each person’s point of view and act accordingly. We worked to assure Dave that it wasn’t his fault we were in this predicament, but the fault lay with the woman on the phone. It helped him to see that he was not missing the mark of perfection; he was just the victim of an honest misunderstanding.

We went with Sherry to get the hotly sought after discount from the campground. She felt better because we were willing to follow her most basic desire, to lead.

We laughed with Jerry and didn’t let our location put a damper on the fun. He was happy because the attention was back on him and his amazing ability to tell funny stories.

Then we joined Patty in restoring peace by changing the subject to something less controversial betwee
Dave and Sherry. She could relax and enjoy the weekend without any strife.

Every day we are given the opportunity to be a help or a hindrance in a difficult situation. Many times it involves deciphering when and how to build up the people in our lives. Using the temperament shoe knowledge can make you a better partner, parent, employee, boss or friend during such times. Since most people just want to be understood...this technique is a shoe in!