Can You Keep a Secret? Maintaining Patient Privacy

You visit your sick co-worker in the hospital or at home and he looks terrible. He's not sounding like himself and he's sharing way too much personal information. Then, you happen to see a pamphlet on the nightstand about a scary illness that you were not aware that he has. To top it off, some of his family are there in the room and are bickering.

When you head back to the office that afternoon, everyone wants to know how he's doing. What do you say?

Here's something to think about before you say anything. Once well, your co-worker will need to face friends, neighbors, and the people in the office. He won't want people staring at him, thinking about how bad he looked when he was at his worst, or whispering about what his chances are for the future. So, think twice before you tell the gory details.

So, what can you say? If possible, ask the individual or family what they would like shared with others. If you know you will be bombarded with questions, prepare what to say ahead of time so it's easier to keep from sharing private information. Keep your comments simple and leave out specifics.

Maybe one of these examples will work for you.

"Things seem really tough for him right now. Are you interested in helping in some way?"

"The family wants you to know that... (Put the general information that the individual or family has approved here.). They are so grateful for your prayers."

"It's really scary for him right now. We're all hoping for better news."

"He will be recovering for a long time. We'll all have to wait to see how things go. The family will need meals and someone to run their errands. Can you help me with that?"

"He is going through a really rough time. No one knows what will happen."

"He is very ill. Right now, he's not having visitors, but the family would appreciate a card or email."

"He just had major surgery. We'll all know more in a few days."

"He was taken to the emergency room at the city hospital with chest pain. This all happened so suddenly. We should know more soon."

"He will be happy you asked how he's doing. After the accident, he had surgery. Now he's getting rehabilitation every day and he's looking forward to coming back to work next month."

"Well, you know that he had surgery. Now, he's getting additional treatments and he's anxious to get back to his business. He hopes he'll see you in the shop soon."

If you find that people keep pressuring you for more information, just say, "That's all I feel comfortable sharing for right now. I would give the family some time and then give them a call if you want to know more."

The saying, "When in doubt, leave it out," applies here. It is better to err on the side of not sharing enough than telling too much. Remember, you do not have to tell "the whole truth and nothing but the truth." It's really up to the patient and family to share what they want. Let time tell the details.

Copyright 2014 Allidah Hicks and Bonnie Knuti. All rights reserved.