Here we are, once again, outraged by Gibson’s racist and misogynistic remarks.
The audio tapes of Mel Gibson tearing into his ex-girlfriend reveal the truth about this man once and for all; he doesn’t deserve any more support.

While some criticize his ex girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, for making the tapes public to benefit herself, others don’t want to see the full drama, and focus only on Gibson’s racism. Our biggest questions shouldn’t be about his ex girlfriend’s motives or wether or not he is a racist, they should be about the issue of Gibson threatening to kill his ex girlfriend, which he threatened to do at least twice. He also admitted hitting her in the face while she held their baby, claiming she deserved it; he clearly has no remorse for doing so, or for endangering the baby. Mel Gibson is a seriously disturbed, potentially dangerous, and highly abusive man who needed to be publicly exposed and denounced. Lets not mask the idea that a significantly defective personality could be driving the racism, rants and rages. Racism is not an issue here; we need to see his antics as symptoms of a greater personality flaw rather than isolated and disconnected outbursts to be focused on individually.

Some are trying to rationalize Gibson’s behavior, wondering if he is depressed or bi-polar, while others have said, “maybe he was drunk again,” or “he is just an idiot.” We want to understand evil instead of accept it for what it is and reject him; we want to compartmentalize his actions, but they are all connected. Where our celebrities are concerned, we just don’t want them to be such nasty people, so instead of accepting what they show us about themselves as truth, we justify or find logic and excuses for their behavior and focus on the good stuff they have done. Abused women do this all the time; it’s a coping mechanism when your awareness is suddenly directed to something painful or shocking that challenges your perceived reality.

Encouraging support, understanding, or hope for Mel Gibson is dangerous and suggests that there sometimes is logic and reasoning for a man to harm a woman. Many hope beyond reason that he is better than these tapes reveal him to be, but he is not; that man on the tapes is who he is at his core, and we have to accept it and start rejecting men like this. They can’t change, don’t expect it; they will only fool you into believing they have. We can’t give any more chances, the benefit of the doubt, counseling, rehab, or the belief that they can reform after discovering their spirituality. This is enough; it is all we need to know about him and it’s time we ban together and show that our society rejects abusive men, end of story, or we’ll have another O.J. on our hands.

Public release of audio has shown us who Mel Gibson really is in private and within a relationship, which is often the only place where emotional limitations and deeply seated personality issues or pathology is revealed. Public exposure of such behavior is just what is needed~it reveals that these guys are masters of disguise-and their disguises make it hard to accept the truth about them when it surfaces, but it validates women’s experiences with abusers once it does.

No one should ever take abuse or the threat of murder lightly, wish it away, or rationalize it, even when it comes from a celebrity we want to cherish. Rationalizing is how women end up dead. While this plays out in the media, pay attention to how easy it is for some to twist and turn the truth or the focus in order to maintain a fantasy view of a celebrity. Many will try to keep the admiration alive for someone they want to continue idolizing. Remove the celebrity factor and stay focused on the cold, hard facts; if this were any other man we would all be disgusted, and that is what we need to feel when we look at Gibson and any of his supporters.

Author's Bio: 

Teagin Maddox is a Certified Life Coach, Certified Relationship Coach, and the Exclusive Expert on Domestic Violence at She provides analysis and interpretation of high conflict/destructive relationship cases in the media-from a unique perspective and delivers powerfully effective communication strategies that help women recognize, avoid, and recover from destructive relationships. Teagin also teaches dating safety, awareness, and success programs. Visit her at

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