CHANGE?

CHANGE THROUGH COACHING

What I said never changed anybody; what they understood did.
--Paul. P.

To often in my role as a life coach, potential sponsor or mentor, I run across people who think I can change them. Craziness as the above quote states.
The only person I can change is I, and this is a journey that has been work in progress for many years, and continues.

For those who are looking for the answers they have within in nearly all aspects of their life, a coach or mentor can have them find it within. Many really do need a guide. If the light come on with direction, and they understand, change can and will occur.

How often have we given our all to change somebody else? How frantically have we tried to force a loved one to see the light? How hopelessly have we watched a destructive pattern - perhaps a pattern we know well from personal experience - bring terrible pain to someone who is dear to us?
All of us have.

We would do anything to save the people we love. In our desperation, we imagine that if we say just the right words in just the right way, our loved ones will understand.
If change happens, we think our efforts have succeeded.

If change doesn't happen, we think our efforts have failed. But neither is true. Even our best efforts don't have the power to change someone else. Nor do we have that responsibility. People are only persuaded by what they understand. And they, as we, can understand a deeper truth only when it is their time to grow toward deeper understanding. Not before.

Accredited coaches and councillors are trained to lead clients to find the understanding that allows people to change. Some sponsors in 12 step programmes have the ability as a natural talent, although sponsoring and coaching are dissimilar in certain ways. All aim to help another better understand their own self.
Never be disappointed when your best efforts don't change a person, perhaps your words have led to "understanding"!