In the same way that someone can live in a building that has many levels and spend most of their time on the top floor, they can also inhabit a body and spend most of their time up top. As a result of this, they will generally be unaware of what is taking place in their body.

The outcome of this is that they will typically be out of touch with their feelings and a number of their needs. In other words, they will seldom if ever operate as a whole human being.

The Norm

However, while this is going to undermine them, this could just be what is normal. Thus, they won’t know that they are living on the surface of themselves.

What could also play a part in preventing them from realising what is going on is that they could be surrounded by people who also live in the same way. Moreover, they could live in a society that is filled with people who are alienated from themselves.


Thanks to this, although they will be estranged from themselves, they will be in the same position as so many others. If, on the other hand, they were to spend time in a society that was made up of people who were embodied human beings, they might soon start to become aware of what is going on for them and question why they are this way.

But, the chances of this happening are likely to be remote as the planet is full of countries that produce disconnected people. Additionally, based on what these countries are like, this disconnection is both increased and sustained.

The Awakening

If they were to become aware of how disconnected they are from their body and all the information and guidance that it provides, it could be because they start a relationship. By being with another person, providing that this person is also not totally disconnected, they can be encouraged to connect to how they feel.

But, instead of being able to do this, they can find that it is not possible for them to connect to how they feel or their needs. At this point, they could have the need to explore why this is.

Another Scenario

Then again, they could end up experiencing the loss of a loved one and this could be a time when they will end up being flooded with pain. They will then have gone from being in the clouds, so to speak, to being in the sea.

Along with being in a lot of pain, they could also be filled with anxiety and fear. How they were before is then going to be radically different to how they are now.

Better Off

If they are flooded with pain and experience a lot of anxiety and fear as opposed to seeing that they are out of touch with their body, they will be provided with more information than they would be otherwise. What might enter their mind is that being in a disconnected state was a way for them to protect themselves and feel safe.

They would then have been out of touch with themselves, but they wouldn’t have been flooded with fear and felt as though their life was under threat. Ultimately, it would have been a lot easier for them to function.

What’s going on?

Being out of touch with their body would have typically prevented them from being overwhelmed and allowed them to feel safe but it wouldn’t have allowed them to truly live. At this point, they could wonder why being in touch with their body causes them to feel so unstable and unsafe.

What this is likely to show is that they are in a deeply traumatised state and haven’t developed boundaries. If this wasn’t the case, they would be able to inhabit their body and feel safe being there.

Back In Time

There is a strong chance that they are this way due to what took place during their formative years. This was probably a time when they were mistreated by one or both of their parents and perhaps others.

They might have often been physically harmed, verbally put down and neglected. A stage of their life when they needed to be loved, supported, and protected, would then have been a time when they were not loved, supported or protected.

A Brutal Time

Throughout this stage, they would have felt helpless, hopeless, terrified and as though they were going to die. To handle what took place, their brain would have gradually repressed how they felt and a number of their needs.

This would have pushed them out of their body and living up top would have been a way for their system to stop them from being overwhelmed and to feel safe. If this hadn’t taken place, they probably wouldn’t be alive.

No Choice

Taking this into account, if how they have experienced life is considered in isolation, they will naturally be seen as being 'disordered'. But, if their history is explored, they will be seen as someone who had to adapt in this way in order to survive.

This is why it will be important for them to be kind and compassionate to themselves. For them to change their life, they will need to be courageous and patient and persistent.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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