A lot has been said in recent years about the number of people who are taking their own life and how this has got worse over time. Along with this, there are the people who often think about calling it a day.

With this in mind, it would be easy to assume that if someone wants their life to end, they will either end it or they will often think about taking this step. Thus, if someone doesn’t do the former or think about doing the latter, they won’t want their life to end.

Two Levels

As accurate as this may appear to be, what it won’t take into account is that human beings have both a conscious and an unconscious mind. What this means is that just because someone doesn’t want something at the first level, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want it at the second level.

In this context, then, one might not try to end their life or even think about doing so, but they could live in such a way that shows that this is what they want at a deeper level. Now, this may mean that they will often end up in life or death situations, but it could typically be far more subtle than that.

Common Examples

If they are pulled, both consciously and unconsciously, into situations like this, it could mean that they will be used to experiencing a lot of adrenalin. So, they could often drive at high speeds.

They could often do what they can to antagonise others, getting into a lot of fights as a result. Or, if they don’t drive really fast or antagonise others, they could often spend time in the company of those that do.

Under The Radar

Conversely, if it is not this extreme, it could mean that they often drink a lot of alcohol or take a lot of drugs. Also, they may only be aroused sexually if they are with someone who physically harms and humiliates them.

Yet, even this could be going a bit far and they may do things that are even harder for the average person to pick up on. Still, if another person is in a similar position to them, they might not notice what is taking place anyway.

It’s Obvious

Then again, it is usually a lot easier for someone to notice one of their own issues in another, due to their ego-minds defences, than it is for them to notice it in themselves. Ergo, if one is killing themselves in a very slow and subtle manner, they might soon notice if another person is going about this in a faster and more direct manner.

What they see will be a more exaggerated expression of what they are doing, so it will stand out. But, as it is so much greater, and assuming they are unwilling to go within themselves, they won’t be able to join the dots, so to speak.

A Few Examples

If one doesn’t do anything extreme, or anything that is perceived as being extreme in the society that they live in, it could mean that they are a workaholic. Through being this way, they won’t give themselves the chance to recharge and to take care of their other needs.

This can mean that they will eat things that are not good for them, not exercise and primarily focus on other people’s needs. Furthermore, they could be in a relationship with someone who treats them badly or is just not a good match.

From The Outside

Thanks to how hard they work and if they “selflessly” put other people’s needs first, there can be plenty of people who believe that one is a model citizen. One is then going to be slowly heading towards the edge of a cliff but this won’t be picked up on.

As the years go by, one could become more and more exhausted, yet they could continue to do the same thing. There could come a point in time when they burn themselves out or have a life-changing illness and simply can’t carry on in the same way.

The Outcome

At this point, some people could say that they are “unlucky” or “unfortunate” and that they don’t deserve to be this way. In their eyes, one should be living a good life due to what they have both contributed and done for others over the years.

As correct as this viewpoint may appear to be, it will be nothing more than a surface-level assessment. What it won’t take into consideration is that one will have been abusing themselves for many, many years and it will most likely be this and all the stress that went with it, not “back luck” or “misfortune”, that will have lead to their downfall.

What’s going on?

Without realising it, they have been spending most of their time on this planet doing what they can to destroy themselves. Although they have treated some people well, they haven’t treated themselves well.

What this is likely to show is that, deep down, they feel worthless and hate themselves. As a result of this, they don't believe that they deserve to be here or are worthy of life and want their life to end – this is seen as the only way for them to free themselves from their misery.

Back In Time

If they felt different, there would be no reason for them to abuse themselves. But, as they feel so worthless, treating themselves badly will be seen as what they deserve and it will feel comfortable.

What this can illustrate is that their early years were brutal, with this being a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis. Through being egocentric at this stage of their life, what took place would have been taken personally.


Ultimately, how they were treated was a reflection of what was going on for their caregiver/s. No matter how they were treated during this stage of their life, the truth is that they are inherently valuable and deserve to exist.

However, for them to realise this at the core of their being and to start treating themselves with the love and respect that they deserve, they will need to deal with their inner wounds. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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