On CNN’s (HLN) SHOWBIZ TONIGHT with AJ Hammer (January 7, 2010), talking head Brooke Anderson stated:

“...Charlie Sheen has had a bad boy reputation for a long time, so people aren’t shocked when he does something out of line, but, if these domestic violence allegations are true, he does need some serious help, the two of them need some serious counseling...before it gets to an extremely dangerous point.”

Surely, a knife at your throat is already an extremely dangerous point. If these allegations are even close to true, the last thing we need to believe is that a knife at your throat isn’t dangerous; and the last thing his wife needs to hear, is that she should go into counseling with him.

Women should NEVER be advised to go into couples counseling with an abusive partner. That would have been great advice for a couple without such serious problems as domestic violence, but in DV cases, it is irresponsible advice that could perpetuate violence and lead to murder. Domestic violence brings with it unique dynamics that require specialized intervention and specific advice.

Abusers often use the guise of counseling to skillfully manipulate their partners and even the courts, where mandated treatment programs are grossly ineffective because men who abuse women cannot be counseled into not abusing women. A better message would have been, “...if these allegations are true, his wife Brooke needs to establish a NO-CONTACT policy and a lot of support to recover-because the emotional and mental devastation that linger after the violence is over, is long-lasting and difficult to overcome.” Not as fun and catchy, but certainly a lot more helpful and sensitive.

Author's Bio: 

Teagin Maddox is a Certified Life Coach, Certified Relationship Coach, and the Exclusive Expert on Domestic Violence at SelfGrowth.com. She provides analysis and interpretation of high conflict/destructive relationship cases in the media-from a unique perspective and delivers powerfully effective communication strategies that help women recognize, avoid, and recover from destructive relationships. Teagin also teaches dating safety, awareness, and success programs. Visit her at www.TeaginMaddox.com.

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