While there are likely to be parts of someone’s life that are going to plan, there may be other parts that are not. When something is going the way one wants it to go, it is not going to have the same effect on their life.

As it is going well, one might not even think about and it could be just another part of their life. If, on the other hand, something in their life is not how they want it to be, it may be end up consuming their whole life.

This could relate to one area or it could include a number of areas. However, even if it relates to one area, it could still be enough to cause all kinds of problems. What this shows is how much of an impact one area can have.

The Next Step

One may look into what is not working and see what they can to make it work or they might do the opposite. In this case, one can end up doing everything they can to distract themselves from what is causing them to experience pain.

When this happens, the pain within them won’t be used to push them forward. This may mean that one uses something to distract them or consumes something in order to change how they feel.


If one does what they can to move forward, they might be described as intelligent; whereas, if one avoids how they feel, they might not be. Yet, just because someone avoids their pain, it doesn’t mean they are not intelligent.

What it is likely to come down to is how aware someone is and if they have the drive to move beyond what is taking place. One could have all kinds of qualifications, but they might not realise there is another way or have the drive to pursue the options that are available.

Another Way

When one believes there is another way and has the drive to find another way, there is a strong chance they will move forward. What is taking place externally is in conflict with what is taking place internally, but that won’t stop them.

The first thing one may do in order to move forward could be to go on the internet; they don’t even need to talk to a friend or a family member about what is going on in their life. Within a few seconds of searching, all kinds of answers will appear.

The Challenge

One may want to change their self-image, improve their interactions with the opposite sex or to work on their boundaries, among other things. The answers to these questions and many more will be found on a search engine.

Once these listings appear, one will need to think about what approach to take. This could be something that one is able to do without too much trouble or they might end up feeling overwhelmed.

Information Overload

If one ends up feeling overwhelmed, it doesn’t mean they are missing something; it is just part of being human. This wouldn’t happen if one did a search and only a few sites appeared.

However, as one looks over the different sites and starts to get an idea of what they can do to move forward, they will see that there are a number of approaches available.

Inner Work

One may come across a lot of information that goes into on how important it is for them to look at what is taking place within them. This is often described as ‘inner work’, and it will involve looking at what one believes and kind of thoughts they have.

Another part of this will be for one to get in touch with their emotions and to see if they have an emotional build up that needs to be released. When one works on each of these parts, it will give them the chance to experience life differently.

Corrective Experiences

One could also come across information that talks about how corrective experiences can change their beliefs and thoughts. As this happens, one’s outlook will change and this is also going to have an impact on how they feel.

In this case, one will need to have experiences that will allow them to change what is taking place within them. This means that one’s focus won’t be on their inner world; it will be on their outer world.

How Can This Happen?

One way for one to have corrective experiences is for them to work with a therapist. Through their responses, one will not only be able to develop a new way of seeing themselves, they will also be able to develop a new way of seeing others.

It is not a case of anyone will do though; as it will be important for one to work with someone who is able to offer the level of attunement that they need. This is not something that can only be provided by a therapist though, as it can also come from coaches, social groups and support groups, and through spending time with the right people.

Letting Go

As well as this, one will need to cut back on the amount of time that they spend with people who validate their old identity. This may mean that one needs to let go of some of the people in their life.

If one was to continue to spend time with people who are unable to support them, it is going to hold them back. The corrective experiences they are having will still assist them, but not as much as they would if they were spending time with the right people.


However, just because one is having experiences that are corrective, it doesn’t mean that what is taking place within them can always be ignored. In order for these experiences to take root, one may also need to deal with what is taking place within them.

This shows that it might not be a case of one of the other; it might be that one needs to utilise both approaches.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -