***Dating Pitfalls: Twelve Types of Women to Avoid

Dating Pitfalls: Twelve Types of Women to AvoidnnIntroduction Most of us want a happy and fulfilling romantic relationship. However, there are many people whose personalities and personal issues may give us more grief than joy. Below is a list of negative traits and personality issues that one may encounter in some women. (Please note that men are not immune to these issues either.) You may have an unhappy relationship wih these types of women:

1. Too attached to their parents . These women tend to tell at least one of their parents everything. Perhaps they expect or ask their parents to pay for things—like that rug they really, really have to have, etc. Be careful. Soon the men in these women lives can never measure up to the intimacy or goodies that the parents provide.n n
2. Too attached to their children . Parents should be parents—not their kids’ best friends. Women who are overly attached to their kids tend to be underattached to their partners.n n
3. Too critical . Women who rely on a critical style to get their point across are difficult to live with over time. At first, this behavior seems helpful—but then it erodes love. Guidance doesn’t have to be critical.n n
4. Unable to apologize . Avoid these women. They will always have to be right—which means you have to be wrong.n n
5. Never satisfied . These women have a hole in their soul that can never be filled. There will never be a vacation great enough, a house or diamond big enough or enough clothes in their closets. Avoid them. These are fundamentally unhappy women—and no matter how much you love them, your love is not enough for them.n n
6. Anorectic or Bulimic . Eating problems will always be a problem—and potentially a serious health risk. These women are also very, very unhappy. Many women in our society today don’t feel great about their bodies and would love to lose those last few pounds. But bulimia and anorexia are not the way to control one's weight. There is usually a serious underlying depression that your love alone probably can’t fix.n n
7. Basket-cases . Many men love to “take care of women” and become heroes. Be careful. Some women require a lifelong commitment to your rescuing them—and you just might end with far more problems than you bargained for.n n
8. Compulsive shoppers . OK, lots of women like to shop—but they usually stop short of filling up the garage and two storage rental places. Compulsive shopping robs you of money and happiness. Again, these women have deep feelings of being unloved that your love cannot begin to satisfy.n n
9. Substance abusers . Don’t go there. You can’t fix it—they have to.n n
10. Have used affairs repeatedly in the past to solve their love problems . Be careful. Affairs are on the increase in both men and women, but some women are habitual affair addicts. Rather than work on relationship problems, they flee to the arms of another man.n n
11. Silent . Problems have to be talked about. When women go silent, they are often harboring lots of anger—and perhaps lots of secrets. Work together on keeping channels open.n n
12. Hate sex . This view of sex only works if you hate sex, too. Get some professional help. Often avoidance of sex relates to childhood abuse.

nAs with all these issues, some of them can be worked on with professional help. But try to start relationships without them. This article first appeared in www.helpstartshere.org, the award-winning consumer website of the National Association of Social Workers. Enter and click on my name in the Contributors drop-down bar on the far right on the top to see more of my articles.nnn*** For Women Only: If you would like to be part of Dr. Wish’s research for her next book on women’s love relationships and get one hour of FREE counseling, go to her website and click in the Research box in the upper right and take the online research survey. Be sure to include you contact information and the word SELFGROWTH so that Dr. Wish can contact you.