Although someone will have a number of different needs, it doesn’t mean that they will act like it. When it comes to how they live, it could be as though they only have a few needs.

There will be their survival needs and then there can be the other needs that they take care of. When it comes to the former, this will include their need for food, shelter and clothing and when it comes to the latter, this can include their need for entertainment, to learn, and be creative.


As for connecting with others, they might have a number of friends, or they could just have what could be seen as associates in their life. They might then prefer to spend time by themselves and rarely feel the need to be around others.

This may also mean that they have no interest in being in an intimate relationship either. They may have been in a few relationships in the past and not have had a very pleasant experience, or they might have always been single.

Another Area

When it comes to what they do for a living, they may have a job that simply pays the bills. They might have done the same thing for many, many years and have very little desire to move up the ladder, so to speak.

They might work with a number of people or they could do something that only involves a few people or they might work by themselves. Either way, what they do could be perfectly suited for them and they might not want anything to change.

From The Outside

If someone else was to think about how they live their life, they could say that they live a very basic life. They might even say that they are someone who deprives themselves of a number of things.

Yet, as only their basic needs will be met and perhaps a number of their ‘higher’ needs, this is not going to be much of a surprise. Living in this way won’t allow them to truly grow and expand or thrive.

Stepping Back

If they were to mentally detach from how they experience life and reflect, they might wonder why they live in this way. They could think about how they settle for so little and neither ask for or expect much.

After looking back on their life, they may see that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. What they might start thinking about at this point is that this is just what they are like.

What’s going on?

There is the chance that they are this due to what took place during their formative years. This may have been a time when they were largely deprived of the nutrients that they needed to be able to grow and develop.

Practically from the moment that they were born, they may have been neglected and when they were given attention, it might have largely been misattuned care. As they were powerless and totally dependent at this stage of their life, they would have simply had to adapt to what was going on.

One Option

Having needs at this stage would have been too painful, so they would have had to disconnect from their needs. This would have stopped them from having to experience the pain of not having them met.

By disconnecting from their needs, it would have meant that they ended up disconnecting from their body. So, if they had a strong connection with their body when they were born, and they were not deprived of what they needed when they were in their mother’s womb, they would have gradually lost touch with themselves.

The Outcome

Now, many, many years will have passed since they were deprived but a big part of them won’t have moved on. They will still be in a shut-down, collapsed, frozen and disconnected state and this is why they won’t feel the need to have too much and will be out of touch with a number of their needs.

If they were to reconnect to their body and needs, they are likely to come into contact with a lot of pain. This can be a time when they will feel deeply helpless, hopeless, rejected, abandoned, ashamed, and just want to die.

A Process

Taking this into account, it won’t be possible for them to just reconnect to themselves and to grow and expand. They will have layers and layers of pain to work through, and this will take courage and patience and persistence.

Ultimately, staying small, not growing and being needless will have been programmed into their system as being something that is essential to their survival. But, by working through their pain, this will gradually change.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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