It has been said that someone’s ego allows them to have their own experience on this earth, among other things. Therefore, this part of them causes them to see themselves as separate from everyone and everything.

So, while this will allow them to have their own experience, which can be seen as a ‘positive thing, it also leads to a number of ‘negative’ things. For example, this sense of separation can cause them to feel disconnected, alone and isolated.

The Antidote

However, although this part of them will create this experience, what will allow them to offset this experience is to have a good connection with themselves. Having a good connection with themselves will mean being connected to their body and their emotional self.

By having this connection, they will be able to feel connected to the world and to their fellow human beings. Ergo, it is by being connected to themselves that they will be able to deeply connect with others.

The First Part

If they are not connected to themselves, then, it will be normal for them to feel alone and it won’t matter if they are around others. This shows how important it is for someone to have a good connection with themselves.

In others words, everything starts with the self; if someone wants to experience something, they need to be in the right place themselves. Without the first part in place, they won’t be able to experience something in the outer world.

One Experience

Taking all this into account, if someone has the tendency to feel disconnected and lonely, it is likely to show that they have don’t have a good connection with themselves. If they were to connect to how they feel, they could end up experiencing a lot of pain

Thus, they could do their best to avoid their own feelings and there could be a number of ways that they do this. In general, this is something that could take place without them being consciously aware of what is going on.

A Lot to Handle

If they were to stop running away from themselves and to sit in the experience of being disconnected, lonely and isolated, they could feel very low. In fact, they could be in so much pain that they may want their life to end.

Naturally, by being in so much pain, it is to be expected that they would do their best to avoid how they feel. Deep down, they might not believe that there is anything that they can do to change their life.

Suffering in Silence

If this is the case, they will continue to experience life in the same way and not reach out for the assistance that they need. It can seem strange as to why they simply tolerate what is going on.

Nonetheless, what this can show is that they feel ashamed of themselves and their needs. Consequently, it will be as though they live in an invisible prison as they will look free but they won’t feel free to express themselves.

A Miserable Existence

If they were able to get to the point where they are able to step back and reflect on their life, they may wonder why they are this way. Why they feel the way they do and are in so much pain, why they feel ashamed of their needs and why they are unable to reach out.

What they may find is that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. But, while this may be the case, it doesn’t mean that they will have any idea as to why they are this way.

Back in Time

This is likely to show that their brain has blocked out what took place in order to protect them. Thanks to this, they will be left with the effects of what took place but they won’t be aware of the cause.

This can show that their early years were not very nurturing, with this being a time when they were typically neglected. From the moment they were born, then, they wouldn’t have received the love, care and support that they needed to grow and develop.

A Brutal Time

Being left at this stage of their life would have been too much for their underdeveloped brain and nervous system to handle. They would have felt deeply alone, hopeless and helpless and they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about what was going on.

Their only option would have been to automatically repress how they felt and to go into a shut down, collapsed, frozen state. If this hadn’t taken place, they would probably not be alive.

The Outcome

Being out of touch with how they feel as an adult will be a continuation of how they had to be as an infant. When they do connect to how they feel, they will be connected to the pain that relates to how they felt as an infant and after this stage of their life.

Considering what they went through all those years ago, it is to be expected that they will be carrying a lot of pain. For them to move forward, they will probably need to work through this pain.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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