Divorce After 2 Years Separation: Does A Separation Have To End With A Divorce

Can I stop my divorce? If you are one of those who are asking this question, you will feel happy about reading this article. I am going to answer your question with a series of questions. Thinking about these questions will help you think clearly and act wisely. You will be able to stop the divorce and save the marriage.

Why is it that over half of marriages end in divorce? Why is the number so high? Some of the answers could be:

o People are marrying too young.
o People decide to marry quickly without understanding how strong the relationship is.

But then, since many couples who have been married for 20, 30 and 40 years are also getting divorced, these answers do not appear to be realistic. No, usually when you wonder, "Can I stop my divorce?" it is not because you married too young or because you are in a marriage that was doomed from the start. It is just that you have grown apart from your spouse.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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What are some of the causes for divorce? A married person looks for caring from the spouse. If enough attention is not paid to you by your spouse, then you feel isolated. You may also feel isolated from your spouse, if you not know a certain part of your spouse that your spouse might like to keep private. Disconnect may also develop when one spouse grows and takes on new interests. There is also the possibility of development of jealousy and envy that a spouse is succeeding while the other feels inadequate or cheated in some way. Marriage counseling is the recommended treatment for such feelings.

Incompatibility also develops when your spouse wants to include you but does not know how to go about doing it or you do not respond to your spouse's overtures either due to a lack of interest or improper communication.

Here are some quick tips:

- Show genuine interest in your spouse's activities.
- Take some time to find out what your spouse's hobbies are. Show interest in the hobbies of your spouse. Nothing makes a person more happy than someone showing interest in his or her hobbies.
- Ask harmless questions about your spouse's interests just to show that you care for your spouse, even if you are not excited by things that interest your spouse.
- Engage your spouse in conversation often.
- Show your affection by putting a hand on his/her arm or shoulder when you're talking.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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"... Oh my God, I knew it; I will never have any money. Money is like water, as soon as I make a penny something happens and I have to spend a dollar... "

◊ Do you often say, "I will never lose weight, it's in my genes"? How often does a word "never" come out of your mouth?

◊ Do you often think, "My life is just a series of problems"?

◊ Do you believe that, "Nothing good ever happens to me. I will never meet anyone. My marriage will never get any better... "?

And so on and on and on...

◊ Does that sound a little or a lot like you?

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

The first thing you can do is to notice your thoughts and your words. Most of the time, we think and say negative things just out of our bad habits. Try to pay attention, and as soon as you notice the "negative talk", just change your mind.

That's right; I said,"JUST CHANGE YOUR MIND!"

I am sure that you have heard, "We are what we eat". Well, the same is true for," We are what we think", and if we want our lives to change, we must change our thinking.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Another thing you can do is to fill yourself up with positive thought

◊ Try this exercise:

On a piece of paper, make two columns. On one, write "Negative" on the other one write "Positive".

Make a list of your ongoing negative thoughts and worries.

For example, "I do not have any money, I cannot find a job, there are no jobs out there, I will never have any money, I will never...

Then on the positive column, come up with a positive statement that seems realistic to you like, "Maybe I do not have a lot of money right now, but that could change tomorrow. Tomorrow I could find a job. Something good will come out of me getting fired; a better opportunity will present itself... "

Then on the positive column, come up with a positive statement that seems realistic to you like, "Maybe I do not have any money right now, but that could change tomorrow. Tomorrow I could find a job. Something good will come out of me getting fired; a better opportunity will present itself... "

Try it. Do it with every negative thought that pops in to your head. Turn it in to a positive statement, and if you are consistent, little by little you will notice how your attitude changes...

~ "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." ~Herm Albright

~ "If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one." ~Cavett Robert

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If you want more love and respect from your man, then this article about understanding men will hopefully help you out. From a married man's point of view, this piece of advice that I'm going to share with you is pretty important when it comes to understanding why we don't always respect you. I don't care what anyone says about the man having the power in the relationship or the woman wearing the pants, if it's to work out in the long run, both parties have to have control at some point. This article will help women who don't have much control gain some and in the process of doing that, get more respect from their husband/boyfriend.

1. What's happening right now?

If your man is usually the one who calls the shots in the relationship, you might feel like you're not contributing much to what happens between you two in your daily life.

He goes and does whatever he wants and you find that you're always in a position where you have to ask him or at least let him know where you're going and what you're doing. The ideal balance is to have him also letting you know about what he's going out and doing, just so that both people respect each other's desire to know where the other person is.

2. Straight Out Ask Him...

"Where are you going?" Don't be afraid or uncertain. If it shows up in your voice, then he will feel as if you're feeling insecure. You have to exhibit an air of certainty around him. What you should be feeling is that you're simply curious to know where he's going.

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If he tells you, that's good. If he's giving you back a bit of attitude, then stay neutral. If he's any decent, he would realize that he should have just answered the question.

3. What happens next time

The man should feel apologetic about the attitude if he gave you any. If he answered your question without any attitude, then more often than not, the next time he goes out, he'll let you know where he's going.

This is where you "snipe" him. Try to make sure you have something important first, but tell him that you can't let him go because you need his help with something. The increase in respect comes in when he realises that he has to help you do whatever you want him to do first.

The more you practice sniping him and asking him for your help, the more accustomed he will get to helping you when you need him. The fact that you're also asking him for help doesn't mean that you're weak, it actually shows the opposite. He is obeying you by helping you out. In understanding men, you have to realize that the respect you give him has to be balance out by the respect he gives you. That's why you have to hold him back sometimes to ask him to help you do something.

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Sometimes we hold onto a dead relationship long past when it should have been given a decent burial and laid to rest. It can be exceptionally challenging to let go of a past relationship and move on. The challenge is complicated by so many factors beyond a broken heart. These can include the complications of pride (of course), and our values, beliefs, expectations, needs, and dreams.

Not only are we dealing with our own complications, but we also have to live with the complications of others. Their expectations and values for us, their beliefs and dreams for us. No wonder it can be hard to move on.

One solution is to step back and reframe the situation. Instead of deciding that losing the relationship means we are a failure, we can decide that this is an opportunity to find the gift.

Let's break that down. One reason it can be difficult to let go of a past relationship is because (on some level) we might consider that relationship to be a failure, therefore, we are a failure. Ouch. That's not a good feeling so we try to prolong the hope that the relationship can be revived, thereby proving to ourselves and everyone else that we're not a failure.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

So let's step back and do a reframe. To do this we can draw on behavioral psychology, namely, the A-B-Cs of behavior. A = Antecedent, what occurs before the behavior, B = Behavior (actions, beliefs, wants, values, etc.), and C = Consequences of the behavior. Simple.

In our situation, A is the relationship (it occurs before a break-up.) B is now the break-up (the behavior), and C becomes the feeling of failure (a consequence of the break-up.) So let's reframe this and find the gift.

A can be what that relationship gave us (a sense of adventure, security, prestige, etc.), which leads to B, a deeper awareness of who we are and what we want out of life. C can be the motivation to find more effective ways to get our needs met based on our newfound knowledge of ourselves.

A second example of this equation might be this: A is the feeling of failure and B is the decision to not be a victim or martyr. C, then, could become a new or resurrected sense of strength, dignity, and self-respect as you take back the power that the broken relationship had to destroy you.

Now, go ahead and employ this equation to help you step back, reframe your situation, and find the gift!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

Now you can stop your divorce or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit Stop Marriage Divorce

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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