Today's article is about the reason we feel we are constantly fighting a losing battle and what you can do to get out of the rut and begin living Powerfully.

In The Forbidden Love E-book, which is about the misconception that loving one's own self is not okay, I shared a story about a dog. In this story, a dog refuses to give up his favorite spot on his patio even when the nail sticking up from there caused it a lot of pain. He would howl every so often with pain, but would not get up and move to another spot.

On the surface, this story sounds absurd. Who would purposely sit on a nail and cause themselves pain for no reason? But if you look closer, you will find something very disturbing. The fact of the matter is that we as human beings are very good about sitting on the "nails" in our life and then complaining about how life is not working out for us.

Every time we complain about something but do not take actions to either change the circumstances or our response to those circumstances, we are sitting on a nail and refusing to move. This is our automatic conditioned response. We sit there complain and whine and do nothing.

I found this to be my response to a lot of things in my life for a very long time. There also were times when I took minimal action to move out of the fire a little bit, yet the heat was still on. It still affected my life. Angrily, I would conclude, "Nothing I do works!"

Then there were times when I took drastic action. This is a phenomenon I call "jumping off a cliff". This phenomenon is very glamorous and seductive. It makes us believe, "I have broken the boundaries of my limitations and fears and now I am invincible." Twelve years ago when I divorced my husband, that was exactly my thought.

When I filled for divorce I thought, "I have stepped out of my comfort zone and said goodbye to a relationship that did not work. This relationship was the source of all my problems and now I am free and all will be well." Boy, was I wrong!

You see, I did not realize then that the apple does not fall far from the tree. Although I had taken a huge step, my work was not done yet. In fact, my work was just starting. I did not realize that I needed to continue to grow, learn about myself, learn life strategies and implement those strategies consistently to continue moving forward.

At this time I had no guide, no mentor to teach me life lessons, no one to help me look deep within and begin to understand what I was really made of. Like a princess I thought, I have left the castle that imprisoned me so all will be well. That was a big fat lie!

Have you ever sat on a nail not wanting to move? Have you taken a drastic step in the hopes that one step will be the answer to all your troubles? Non-action and jumping off the cliff both can be equally counter productive! This may sound crazy to you, but it is the truth.

See, when we take a big step, like when we jump off a cliff without a game plan to hit the ground running and take advantage of the momentum, we are at risk of setting a camp right where we land. This place we land could become the new cliff that imprisons us and we have a big chance of getting stuck there like Rapunzel.

Gathering momentum takes time and energy, we need to make the most of it. We also need a mentor who can look at the big picture. You want someone who is looking at the whole picture from outside the box and helps you to learn life strategies that will create a lasting change.

This mentor can teach you the secretes of living powerfully. Your mentor will teach you how to live a happy life from inside out. She will teach you how to stop reacting to life's circumstances and to take consistent proactive actions in the direction of your desires and goals. So instead of constantly running from what you don't want you are running towards the life of your dreams.

Ask any successful person. They will tell you that they have their own mentor, their own coach to help them achieve their goals. So then, why do you want to try to do it all alone?

Human psyche is very complex; we are not just this body. We are also made of memories, conditioned responses behaviors and fears. We share our ancestors' memories, their fears, their beliefs and their ways of responding to difficulties in their lives. Not only that, we also unknowingly conform to societal trends and expectations.

All these influences are so loud in our minds that we are often unable to listen to our own inner guidance, or what I like to call our inner GPS. You, as an individual, are not fighting to free yourself from just one influence. You are up against a plethora of unseen, intangible forces.

The best way to find your way in this state of confusion is to find a mentor and take personal responsibility to continue to move forward in your life.

Stop beating yourself up because you can not do it alone.

Stop short changing yourself by thinking that jumping off a cliff is the end of your journey, and therefore you should not have to struggle anymore.

Non-action and inadequate actions both covertly cause self sabotage.

Do not treat your personal journey as a part-time hobby.

Stand up and resolve to make your personal journey a life long commitment to yourself.

You are worth it!

Yours in love and peace

Shahina Lakhani

Author's Bio: 

Shahina Lakhani, RN, MSN, NLP Master Practitioner, Reunion Kinesiology Facilitator, Theta Healing Practitioner: Shahina has been a nurse for over 25 years. She has worked as an educator, Nurse Practitioner and a Hospice Nurse. Shahina is a holistic change expert. She empowers people to feel safe during major life change – divorce, serious illness or even if death is staring you in the eye. Her passion is to help you experience well-being and living powerfully until your last breath.