Although someone is made up of at least three parts, so their thinking, emotional and instinctual self, it doesn’t mean that this will stand out. The reason for this is that they could come across as though they only possess the first self.

Therefore, they could come across as though they are a walking intellect, with them not being very emotional or instinctual. Still, it doesn’t mean that they will be aware of what is going on as this could just be what is normal.

A Big Difference

If they were to live the life of someone who is connected to each part of their being for only a few hours, they would probably soon see how disconnected they are. They are likely to be surprised by how different life can be.

Other than this, they are going to continue to experience life in the same way, and this will deprive them of so much. Ultimately, they will be living on the surface of life but they won’t realise it.

One Challenge

By being this way, they are unlikely to be able to feel deeply connected to others and form strong attachments. To do this, they will need to have a strong connection to their emotional self.

They can then have people in their life, but they can be more like associates than real friends. As a result of this, they can spend a fair amount of time feeling lonely and isolated from their fellow human beings.


When another person is going through a tough time, they might be able to mentally understand what is going on for them but that could generally be about it. By not having a strong connection to their emotional self, their ability to truly connect to another person’s experience will be greatly undermined.

Consequently, another person might sense that they are only able to go so far and feel a lack of support. Even so, it won’t be that one is choosing to not fully be there for them as it will be just how they are.

One More

When it comes to what they do for a living, they could do something that they are good at and/or pays the bills, but it might not very fulfilling. If they were to think about what makes their heart sing, they might struggle to think of anything.

If they are not working, there might not be a great deal that they enjoy doing. They could then spend a fair amount of time watching TV, playing games and engaging in other activities that will both distract and consume them.

Another One

Not having a strong connection to this part of them is likely to mean that they will largely deprive themselves of what they need and want. This is because the information that will be provided by this part of them will typically be outside of their conscious awareness.

Thanks to this, they simply won’t know what they need and want in a lot of cases and will neglect themselves. Naturally, living in this way is going to cause them to suffer unnecessarily.

What’s going on?

If they were to become aware of what is going on, they could wonder why they are not operating as a whole human being. They may see that this is how they have been for as long as they can remember.

When it comes to why they are not a feeling or overly feeling human being, it could be due to what took place during their formative years. This may have been a time when they were deeply traumatised and ended up disconnecting from their emotional self.

No other option

From the moment they were born, they may have been left and when they were given attention, it might have largely been misattuned care. After this period of their life, they may have continued to be left and perhaps been physically harmed.

But, before all this took place, their birth and their time in their mother’s womb might not have been very harmonious. From when they were first traumatised, whenever this was, their brain would have automatically repressed how they felt and they would have gone into a shut down, collapsed, frozen and disconnected state.

One Priority

What they went through would have totally overwhelmed them and losing their ability to feel would have been what kept them alive. So, if all of the pain that is being kept at bay by their brain was to enter their conscious awareness, it would end up wiping them out.

This is why they can’t just go from how they are to someone who is a deeply feeling human being. The pain that is inside them will have to be worked through in stages, and this doesn’t mean that they will end up like someone who had a nurturing developmental period.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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