What someone may find, that’s if they were to go through a challenging time, is that they end up losing touch with their emotional self. Perhaps they have just experienced a break up or lost a loved one.

This wouldn’t have been something that one chose to do; it would have been something that just happened. The reason for this is that the pain would have been too much for them to handle, hence why they ended up losing touch with this part of themselves.

A Different Person

One will then look like a whole human being, but they won’t be operating as a whole human being. It might seem as though they no longer live on the same planet, and this is because they won’t experience life in the same way.

The part of them that gives life depth - their emotional self - won’t be there to give their life meaning. In a way, it could be as though the colour has been taken out of their life, with everything being in black and white.

A Loss of Enjoyment

The type of things that they enjoyed doing before might no longer interest them, meaning that they might not even want to get out of bed. They may have been someone who laughed a lot, yet now that could be thing of the past.

As for experiencing pleasure, this could be another thing that they are not interested in experiencing. This could then mean that they no longer reach out to their friends and stop socialising with others.

The Lights Are On

If they do go out, their friends may sense that they are not really there – only their body is there. It could seem as though their attention is somewhere else altogether; they could describe them as vacant.

If their friends do sense this they may take a deeper look into what is taking place and see if they can help them. What could allow these people to understand what is going on is if they are aware of why one is this way.

One Outcome

One thing that one could end up doing, if they are emotionally numb, is to look for ways to artificially change their inner world. Instead of reaching out for assistance, they can end up drinking or taking things, for instance.

This will stop them from feeling dead for a little while, yet what it won’t do is allow them to get back in touch with their emotional self. And, as they are unable to feel alive without taking anything, they can end up being hooked on these things.

The Ideal

If one finds themselves in this position, it will be essential for them to reach out for the right support. Carrying on as they are is not going to get them anywhere; in fact, their life could get a whole lot worse.

The type of assistance that they need could be supplied by a therapist, healer and/or a support group. Through having this support, they will be able to work through what they haven’t been able to face by themselves.

It’s Already There

If one has only just disconnected from their emotional self and is therefore, usually in touch with how they feel, they may have a number of people in their life that they are close to. As a result of this, they will basically have a safety net.

So even if they were to start taking things to change their state, the people around them will make sure that they are back on track before long. This emphasises how important a community is.

A Different Experience

Now, if someone experiences a break up or a loss it could be said that it will be normal for them to shut down, at least for while. This is simply their minds way of stopping them from being wiped out by pain.

However, while some people will end up shutting down after something like this, there will be others that don’t need to go through anything like this in order to shut down. For someone like this, just a small amount of stress could be enough.

Unable To Cope

After a day at work or after they have spent a fair amount of time around others, they could end up shutting down. It is then not going to take a lot of stimulation for them to be overwhelmed and lose touch with their emotional self.

What this may show is that there is already a lot going on inside them, which is why it doesn’t take much for this to take place. If this is so, what took place during their early years may have played a part.

Back In Time

During this stage of their life, they may have been abused and/or neglected, and this would have overwhelmed their system. The primary way for them for them to handle this pain would have been to shut down.

This would have meant that they didn’t receive the kind of care that they needed to be able to develop the ability to handle their own emotions and their system would have been loaded up with pain. Many years will have passed since that time, but their being will still be in a traumatised state and shutting down will still be the only way for them to handle pain.


If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they will probably need to reach out for external support. With the assistance of a therapist or a healer, one can begin to resolve the trauma that is within them.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.