As the ego-mind creates the illusion of separation, someone can believe that they are separate from everyone and everything. Through having identified with this part of them, they will be nothing more than an observer of their reality.

There will then be what is going on around them and what is going own within them, and while what is going on around them will affect them, what is taking place inside them won’t affect their outer world. By having this outlook, it is not going to be a surprise if they often feel like a victim.

Complete Certainty

They may often have moments when something ‘bad’ happens and shortly after this, they could say that they knew this would happen. If they see themselves as a victim, occurrences such as these are likely to strengthen the view that they have of themselves.

Due to how often the above has taken place, they could even believe that they have the ability to predict the future. The trouble is that thanks to how they perceive reality, they won’t be able to see that they are playing a part in how they are experiencing life.

A Few Examples

When it comes to what they expect from life, most of these expectations could be negative. They may have some, if not all, of the following expectations:

• They might not expect much from life
• They might expect to be treated badly
• They might expect to be rejected
• They might expect their life to be a struggle
• They might expect to be ignored
• They might expect to be abandoned
• They might expect to be humiliated
• They might expect to be harmed

Two Levels

Although one might consciously be aware of some of these as well as others, there can be others that they are not aware of. When it comes to the latter, these will be expectations that are held in their unconscious mind.

However, even though they won’t enter their conscious mind, they will still influence their life. Ultimately, what is taking place in their unconscious mind has a far greater impact on their life than what is taking place in their conscious mind.

Incredible Power

Yet, regardless of whether one is aware of an expectation or not, they will believe that it will take place. What this illustrates is how much of an effect their beliefs are having on their reality.

Their beliefs will be what are causing them to experience life in a certain way; they will be the roots that sustain their reality. Therefore, if these roots were severed and new trees were planted (new beliefs), their reality would change.

This is often described as the law of correspondence; where the outer reflects the inner. In order for them to experience life differently, though, they would need to take a step back and to see what is going on.

A Tough Time

If they were able to take a step back and to gradually see that they are not just an observer of their reality and that their life is partly a reflection of what they expect, it might be hard for them to accept. The reason for this is that if their life is a mess, the last thing they will want to hear is that they are playing a part in what is going on.

They could feel angry and enraged and/or feel totally helpless. On the plus side, as they are playing a part in what is going on, it will mean that they can do something about their life.

Going Deeper

One thing they may wonder at this point is why they are full of negative expectations and why they don’t expect good things to happen to them. What they expect may largely be the result of what took place during their early years.

This may have been a time when they were typically treated badly and neglected, and therefore, not shown the love and care that they needed to develop in the right way. The experiences that they had, day after day, year after year, would have laid down an inner framework.

Repeating The Past

Along with this, how they were treated would have stopped them for developing a felt sense of self-love and self-worth. Without this self-love and self-worth in place, being treated badly and settling for very little in life will feel comfortable.

Considering this, for them to no longer put up with what is going on, it will be essential for them to develop these two things. As these two parts of their being start to develop, what felt comfortable before will start to feel uncomfortable and their expectations will change.


If someone can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, five hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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