After getting to the point where they can no longer continue to live in the same way, someone could take a step back and reflect on their life. During this time, they could come to the conclusion that their life is not in alignment with who they are.

This is not to say that there won’t be certain things that do, but in general, this won’t be the case. What could be glaringly clear is that what they do for a living doesn’t truly fulfil them, although they might be good at what they do.

Something is not Right

When it comes to their job then and other areas of their life, it will be as if they are on the wrong track. However, it could be a complete mystery as to what it is that they need to do to get on the right track.

While this is taking place inside them, from the outside, they might appear to be living a good life. Certain people could even admire them, with them being only too happy to swap their life with them if they could.

A Very Different Experience

If one is seen as being “successful” by some people, it will be hard for most, if not all, of these people to accept that one is not really happy with their life. Thanks to all the success boxes that one ticks, this will seem strange.

So, irrespective of what is taking place externally or how “successful” they are, they will know in their heart that something is missing. Consequently, this could mean that they often feel angry and frustrated and there could be moments when they feel very low.

Another Element

What they are going through won’t be pleasant, yet this will give them the chance to get in touch with their true calling. If this hadn’t have taken place, their life would have continued to go down the same path.

As positive as this process is, though, they could find that they end up feeling guilty. This can come down to the fact that if their life is “good”, they can see themselves as being ungrateful.

Bridging the Gap

Now, for their life to change, they will need to get in touch with what it is that really matters to them. Once they are in touch with this information, they will be able to gradually build a different life.

According to their mind, this could be seen as something that will take place if they find the right information “out there”. By finding the right book or going on the right course, for instance, they will be able to know what is right for them.

Closer to Home

This can certainly help but an even more effective approach is likely to be for them to connect with their body. The reason for this is that the information that they are looking for will be found just below their head.

This information won’t be in the form of words; it will be in the form of feelings and needs. They won’t need to go very far but that doesn’t mean that this will be something that is easy.


As great as their need is to embrace how they feel, this could be something that just doesn’t happen. It could be as if they are trying to connect to something that is a million miles away.

Consequently, one could believe that there is something inherently wrong with them. In reality, this is likely to show that they are in a traumatised state, which is why they are not connected to their body and able to feel their feelings.

Up Top

Living on the surface of themselves, in their head, will have prevented them from being in tune with their true-self and, thereby, from being able to live a life that is worth living. Not being connected to themselves will have meant that they would have typically looked towards others and done things to please them.

This is why they won’t be happy even if their life does match up with the societal view of success as it won’t be their version of success. Going down this path may have seemed right as they were not connected to themselves, but it was destined to leave them feeling empty and on the wrong track.

Way Back

For them to understand why they would be in this disembodied state, they will need to look back on what took place during their early years. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

They wouldn’t have felt safe and being in their body would have been too painful. To handle what was going on, they had to disconnect from themselves and to take refuge in their head.

The Fallout

Leaving their body wouldn’t have stopped what was taking place but it would have stopped them from being aware of what was going on. The years will have passed but they will have stayed in this traumatised, divided state.

Pleasing other people will, just as it was when they were growing up, be seen as the only way for them to survive. Their early experiences would have stopped them from developing a felt sense of safety and security, among others things, and this is why, pleasing others will be so important, as they still won’t feel safe and secure in their own body.


If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

For their life to change, they will need to get back into their body and feel safe being there. From this place, they will be able to express who they really are.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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