Finding your life’s work!
What am I all about?

Throughout our lives we are all looking for what line of work will make us happy? Throughout my coaching career during the past 16 years, I’ve seen and heard from so many people who are lost and confused in finding the response to the question: “What is my life’s work?”

Well, I can’t speak for others, but I can share with you my own life experiences and all the spaces I went through to find my passion and interest in what I want to do in my life and what my life work would be, which might be insightful and helpful for you and a possible direction to follow.

The very first thing is to look and see what really turns you on! Like a fire in your passion, like a waterfall in your soul and like a bird in your heart. You have to find out WHO YOU ARE first! Everyone is looking for what they want to do for the rest of their lives without knowing who they are, what makes them who they are today and what is the thing that makes their soul sing. We are not just a product of our parents, we are a product of a series of elements and incidents and experiences that start from our parents, move to our family and friends around us, followed by our schools, communities and society that will shape and form our experiences of them as well as our own decisions about ourselves, others and what we know about life itself! I know it is a very wide and very vast domain to deal with but for now just to get that we are a by-product of our experiences, good, bad or ugly and that some of these experiences took us this way and others took us that way; it is not a matter of which way these experiences are taking us in life but just to notice which places they are taking us. It is so easy to lose our passion and interest about ourselves or others or even life itself when we don’t know who we really are!

The main element that’s holding us back from hearing the song in our soul is our own internal dialogue; I call it “Inner Chatter”. Our inner chatter about ourselves, about other people and about life itself holds us back from seeing, experiencing and owning our own power. We talk to ourselves and we put ourselves down. We trash ourselves so bad that we don’t need anybody else’s input; we are doing such a good job of damaging ourselves.

How you may ask? By saying to ourselves: “I can’t do this”, or “I am not smart enough”, or “they would not like me” and any other nonsense we can come up with! By now we either hear that voice in our head or not. If not, just get quiet for 10 seconds and listen to the voice that judges and evaluates what I am saying. There you go…that is the voice and your inner chatter! If you are able to make that voice be quiet for awhile then we can go on to the second phase.

This phase is the phase of truth. We need to tell the truth about what we really want to do in our lives. What will this life be about? What will be the message of my life? What is the mark I am putting on this world before I leave it for good? We all hide that passion and interest, mostly because we think it is stupid or insignificant and people might judge us or they might laugh at us then we create so many concerns in our own head that stop us from moving forward with our dreams and passions. I have news for you…they will judge and evaluate you anyways! 24 hours a day! You do the same thing, don’t you? So get over it and move on.

So by now, we should stop listening to our belittling and condescending voice in our head and start expressing what we have a passion for. The next phase is to invent and create a vision for our lives worth living! Write down all of your life values such as fun, love, happiness, security, family, health and so on. After that look and use those values to come up with two or three sentences that will capture the essence of who you are and what your life is about. Before you do that you need to close your eyes and think about 20 years from now. Yes, if you fulfill this vision and live through it for another 20 years, what would your life look like then? Standing 20 years out, what would you see? What would your friends and family say about you 20 years from now? How will your life turn out? These questions will assist you in discovering your life vision. Don’t make it complicated. Keep it very simple and to the point; remember simplicity is grace. Just trust your heart and soul and don’t be concerned about how significant it has to sound, just trust yourself.

Your vision is not about you, but it includes you. It is not about doing something, it’s about completing life. It is not about working hard and making money it is about living life and being fully self-expressed. It is a space that others can find themselves being a part of and getting pulled towards. Don’t get me wrong… there is nothing wrong with making money but if it is your vision to just make money you will get bored so quickly! Look around, this world is full of unhappy, unsatisfied and bored millionaires who just hide behind money, sex, fashion or over the top luxury to just hide how miserable and lonely they are, because they have lost their passion by letting their inner child die!

I am sharing my own life vision with you to inspire you and show you that it is possible, and also to give you an example and some direction: My vision for my life is:

“Life fulfilled. Passion, joy and laughter expressed.
Inspired by people’s success, having fun and creating abundance.”

The next phase is to create action plans and structures to fulfill that vision. You might say “OH MY GOD!” yes, you are right! Now you have to be responsible and accountable to live that vision and to do that you need to STOP COMPLAINING! And you need to be good to YOU and then you can literally do anything and be happy with it. It takes time, effort and commitment…so now what? If you are interested then you will make time and you will bring your effort and commitment to it also.
I certainly hope you find something that adds zest to your life. By fulfilling your vision you are fulfilling your soul and your needs in life; physically, financially, socially and in every other aspect that you can imagine.

Try it on. It may not be easy because you have to let go of your complaints about yourself and your life. For some that will be hard, I know! But when you do, the outcome is amazing and is worth the effort! Good luck. Be well.

Author's Bio: 

Behnam Bakhshandeh is a dynamic author, speaker, executive coach and trainer with more than 17 years of hands-on experience working with individuals and organizations. He known among his friends, family and clients to be a patient, compassionate and a no-nonsense individual who loves to make a difference in all of his interactions with people.

He is an accomplished business manager and business development professional, known for producing extraordinary results in record time. He is a passionate, visionary leader who produces results. Behnam have helped countless businesses and tens of thousands of individuals achieve their goals, success and peace of mind.