Four Simple Strategies To Proactively Minimize Working Mom Stress

It is a fact; stress is a part of our lives and contributes to 90% of all illness. And, unfortunately, working moms tend to experience it more often and from my many different angles. They feel stressed when they wake up a they are scurrying around, trying to get as much done as they can before leaving for work. They are stressed at work with never enough time to accomplish all that they had intended for the day. They encounter stress as soon as they return home in the evening due to all of the tasks they feel they have to accomplish in the evening hours (dinner, homework, tidying up the house, bedtime routines, etc.). They are stressed on the weekends, trying to squeeze in as much as they can since they will be back at work in 2 days! Oftentimes, working moms experience conflicting requests for their time…do I spend time with my long-lost friend with whom I haven't seen in a year or do I go with my husband and daughter to the park? Do I take some time for self-care or do I clean the house? With all of these pulls and pushes, what do we do as working moms? How do we alleviate or at least minimize the daily stress we encounter?

I am going to share with you 4 simple strategies that you can implement now to assist you taking control and curtailing stress.

1) Set limits and say no. Many working moms aim to please at work, at home, in their social relationships. However, I encourage you to say no. You can do so in a way that is not going to disappoint others. A few phrases that you can start to use are: "Unfortunately, I don't have time right now. Let me recommend someone who may be able to help you" or "I really appreciate you asking. Unfortunately, I am already booked that day".

2) Adhere to daily routines. I encourage you to think about times during your day that seem especially chaotic. Perhaps it is in the morning when you get to work or in the evening when you come home. It is helpful for you and your family to have a structured routine for that part of the day. When you do so, you no longer have to think about what you "have to" do next. Also, routines help children feel more confident, secure, autonomous, and they learn how to manage their life through organization.

3) Say goodbye to the "should have's", "could have's", and "would have's". Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I should've tried harder," or "I wish I would have done it differently."? This is self-imposed stress. It happens when our self-talk is full of the word should, could or would. STOP listening to that critical voice. Self-imposed stress can be the most debilitating of all. It saps us of energy, it deflates our ego, and it causes our self-esteem to plummet. Remember this: Nobody is capable of giving 100 percent, 100 percent of the time. It's not humanly possible. We can only do the best we can do, and accept that we won't meet everyone's expectations (including our own) all of the time. And, to top it off, when you use this verbiage you are living in the past. What is done is done and there is not a darn thing you can do to get it back. Let it go and live in the present!

4) Focus on what you can control. There are certain types of stressful events that you cannot control: the weather, traffic, and getting stuck in the slowest line possible at the grocery store. Since we can do nothing about these environmental stressors and let go of the hold they have on you. No matter what the situation, the one thing you can ALWAYS control is your attitude, your mindset, and your beliefs. The next time you struggle with a seemingly impossible situation, have a quote or a mantra that you can tell yourself that help redirect you in the moment. For example, "This is out of my control and I am letting it go". Some of the proactive things I have done to help minimize my stress in these situations are as follows: 1) I listen to books on my iPhone to and from work. That makes the slow commute much more tolerable. Also, I always have a magazine with me when I go to an appointment (e.g., doctor, dentist, massage, etc.). It helps to do something enjoyable and that I would not make time for otherwise when I am encountering unexpected delays.