Freedom in Relationships - Finding a New Purr!

I'm looking out at the rain forest that surrounds my new home. I have just moved from sea level to the rain forest at three thousand feet elevation. This is a huge change for me - and for my cat Kanui too!

On the first day of the move he stayed under the bed and only ventured out once for a few bites of food. The second day he sat on top of the bed beside me and purred. Each time he heard a strange noise his purring stopped and he looked in my direction to see my reaction. When he saw that I kept right on doing whatever I was doing in the moment- reading, typing or folding laundry - the startled look on his face relaxed and his peaceful purr resumed.

After about a week he took to resting inside the large ceramic bowl that was his favorite bed when he was a kitten. Going back to known comforts - isn't that what we often do? Finally, a few days ago, I saw him sprawled out on the living room floor belly up, feet dangling in the air. That is when I knew he had made the transition. Kanui is getting to know his new surroundings. And so am I.

Much like my cat, I am getting oriented. And, like my cat I lost my purr for a few days. This move involved much more letting go than I originally realized! Now that I am here I can tell you that besides all of the "physical stuff" I let go of, I released some "inner stuff" that was long overdue too.

Since childhood I've carried around the false belief that I am responsible for what other people feel. It hasn't been a conscious belief. I know better! But it has been a sneaky undercurrent of thinking that kept surfacing in my intimate relationships, affecting my behavior and causing me pain. Some things that worked for me at a "lower elevation" don't thrive at the "higher altitude" I have moved to. And what a relief that is!

I can tell you I feel a renewed sense of freedom - and a new purr of contentment - as I take full responsibility for my own feelings- all of my feelings - and not anyone else's! When others are feeling sad, or unhappy, or angry I know that is because of their own thoughts and perceptions, not because of something I did or didn't do and definitely not because of who I am. My thoughts generate my feelings and your thoughts generate yours.

Here are a few self-empowering thoughts that are meaningful to me. They help me to feel my "inner purr" and create greater ease in all of my relationships.

I take full responsibility for my own feelings.
I am not responsible for your feelings and you are not responsible for mine.

I am free to think and feel my own thoughts and feelings regardless of what you think or feel about them.

You are free to think and feel your own thoughts and feelings regardless of what I think or feel about them.

When I take loving care of my own feelings and you take loving care of your feelings - then - we are free to share loving feelings with each other too.