Happiness can be so fleeting for many because we have our priorities backwards. Many people connect their sense of self-worth with their career, with what they “do.” What you “do” is not the same as who you are. Now for many this statement will sound totally confusing. “Of course,” you may think, “I am what I do.” This is because since we were young children we’ve been conditioned to equate what we do and have with our worth.

This began the lifelong habit for the majority of comparing notes against others. Who has the most money? The largest home? The “best” husband or wife (totally subjective, of course)? Who looks better? There is much truth in the adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well, science would now align with this truth. In fact, we are assigning the meaning to our life, and then our body and physiology follow. Our biology is our biography. In this time of turbulence in the workplace, you are in a boatload of trouble if you are too over-identified with your job or business.

“You should not confuse your career with your life.” ~Dave Barry

I surely agree. There is the essence of you, the conscious being, the spirit, the “observer” in Quantum Physics, and then there is what that Being “does” or “has,” which really boils down to an experience. It is a fleeting experience. Our feelings are experiences. All external people, places, and things are experiences. They change. The only way to have a sense of inner peace and stability is to reflect on this question long enough to realize the “aha” that disconnects you from the illusion that our Self is definable by a job or by what Jane Doe thinks about you. That question is this: Who do you think you are?

One thing’s for sure, I can tell you what I’m not. I’m not my purpose, my mission, my career, or my business. I’m not defined by the roles I play. I am more than the many parts of myself. I can experience all of this, yet I’m not defined by any of it. I can experience it without losing my Self to any of it, if I just pay attention.

Understanding our brain and mind will help to separate our thought from our being. Our brain is a wonderful storyteller. Since we are making it all up, why not create the theme and storyline to include more happiness, purpose, and better relationships? You can start to “in joy” your journey.

Here are 3 tips to begin to make some changes to get you there:

* Stop focusing on what you “DON’T want,” and figure out what you do want. You may even find it in your existing career.

* Learn enough about your own brain and mind to logically understand the difference between the thoughts that run through your mind and the YOU that is aware of the thought.

* Learn how to meditate/reflect long enough to slow down your frantic thinking and tap into your inner genius. Be still and know.

Research is starting to pour out on the benefits of rest, recreation, and reflection to help you to become more productive with more ease and less burnout. Do you want more true confidence? Do you want to innovate and apply your skill sets? Then stop buying into the nonsense that your worth is equated to your “stuff” or what you do. Then maybe you will make the time to slow down and figure out that you’ve been hustled. It’s like the fake wizard behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Like Dorothy said, “It was here all along,”—it was within, not chasing after the fake wizard. The truth can make you free… for real.

Author's Bio: 

Valencia Ray, M.D. teaches business owners and corporate leaders how their amazing brain can actually hijack personal power -- not in the abstract, but in the context of integrating business and personal life. Dr. Ray, a board-certified eye surgeon and medical business owner for over 20 years before selling her practice, shares her own life changing process. By sharing her story, she helps others to expand their vision and learn that by living with purpose and confidence, it is possible to have a more integrated, healthier lifestyle – with less struggle, more inner peace and more abundance.

For more information and to contact her regarding dynamic, inspirational keynotes, trainings in collaborative leadership and team building, entrepreneurship and coaching programs, visit her website at http://www.ValenciaRay.com