Can you count the times you have...

- stopped smoking and some time later started again
- attempted to get rid of unhealthy weight and quit the program before you got to your goal
- reached a healthy weight goal then, over time, gained it back
- stopped abusing a legal or illegal drug or alcohol and returned to the habit
- started an exercise program, got in shape and loved it but gradually did it less and less until you stopped
- stopped the behavior that was sabotaging your relationship but let it creep back in again
- swore off cussing (pun :)), succeeded, then started again
- fill in your own blank

Some of the hardest goals to set, reach and maintain are the ones that change your behavior for the better.

The answers are likely best found within the psychology realm and differ from person to person, but if I may generalize, I think much of it has to do with feelings of self worth.

So how do you fix this?

Go back to the feelings you experienced when you succeeded in changing a behavior that was sabotaging you. How did you feel when you were not smoking, attained a healthy weight, rid your body of poisons, toned your muscles and increased your flexibility, enjoyed the communication in your relationship, etc.?

Get in touch with that feeling and identify it. It could be peacefulness, contentment, joyfulness, energetic, clearness, pride, freedom, etc. Be more specific than 'happy'. 'Happy' is a dwarf (one of the seven)!

Something happened to kill off that feeling. What was it? After all, these feelings were pretty new for you while the old feelings that caused you to indulge in the self-sabotaging behavior were pretty deep and ingrained. It wouldn't take much to knock 'em down.

The solution is to keep those feelings that build your sense of deserving, those feelings of self worth, continuing to grow. One way is to continue to set and achieve goals. They don't have to be lofty goals, they can be small, daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals. And each time you achieve, no matter the size of that achievement, your foundation of self worth & deserving, solidifies and grows.

Another way is to think of something you love and support. Perhaps it's a charity that improves the lives of animals or children or senior citizens, etc. Sign up for a monthly donation paid for on your credit card. The money you used to spend on smoking, alcohol, bad foods or in any way supported your self-sabotaging habits now goes to something you love. If not money, sign up for volunteerism at a shelter for the underprivileged, the sick, or abandoned and abused animals. This will be something you love perhaps more than you love yourself during those times you are tempted to backslide!

Now make a pact with yourself and tell another person too. If you do anything that puts you back on the path to defeat, you have to cancel that monthly payment or quit your volunteerism! Now you must live with the fact that those animals, children or senior citizens, etc. will suffer from the lack of your support.

If you truly love what you have chosen to support with your money or time I know your imagination will be very vivid! It's a negative motivator, I know, but many of us find motivation in avoiding the negative than striving for the positive. Just a fact of life.

So often we will do for others what we will not do for ourselves, so if this is what it takes for you to stay on track, DO IT. I guarantee that you will not only keep yourself on a path of success, but you will continue to support your much loved charity long after you no longer need the motivation. For what you receive through your giving is multiplied a thousand-fold.

Make it a goal!

Author's Bio: 

You are welcome to use this article in your own publication providing you use it in it's entirety and without changes.

Lynn Moore is a Life Clarity Coach whose specialized niche is coaching goals out of those who are stuck in the attempt. Her system is unlike any other and combined with her innate sense of clarity, quirky sense of humor, and love of people she will get you from your bottom line to the apex of achievement in record time. Lynn can be reached at and you can visit her website at