In life, there will be hurdles that are both big and small that need to be overcome but that doesn’t mean that someone will believe that they have what it takes to handle these. Before they even come into contact with a hurdle, they could feel hopeless and helpless.

Therefore, before they have even entered the race, so to speak, they will be in a bad way and won’t believe that they can complete it. Sticking with this analogy, this can mean that they typically won’t even bother entering the race.

On The Sidelines

If so, they will spend a lot of their life on the outside looking in; watching others overcome different challenges and achieving their goals in the process. When it comes to their own life, then, they are typically just going to be going through the motions.

This can mean that they will live a life that is anything but fulfilling, with them simply doing their best to survive. If this is just what is normal, there will be no reason for them to try to change their life.

How it is

But, even if they were to step back and to become consciously aware of how they experience life, they are unlikely to believe that they can do anything about it. Due to how they often feel, this can just be seen as how their life is.

Their only option will be to do their best to tolerate the hell that they live in and perhaps to hope that it will change one day. It can be as though someone or something out there will need to change in order for their life to change

Inner State

As they have the tendency to feel hopeless and helpless, it is likely to mean that they will spend a lot of time in an emotionally collapsed state. This will show that their parasympathetic nervous system is often activated.

They will often feel very low and depressed and it will be as if they are in a very deep hole that they are unable to get out of. Being this way can make it hard for them to move their body, let alone take care of the basics.


At times, they could imagine what their life would be like if they were not this way and had what it took to go after their goals and to keep going no matter what. They could see that this would allow them to truly live, not just survive.

Yet, as things stand, this will be nothing more than a pipe dream and something that is totally out of their reach. In general, they might prefer not to think about what they are missing out on as it will just make them feel even worse.

A Strange Scenario

On the one side, they will have been given life but, on the other, they won’t feel strong enough to handle life. This shows that something is not right as they should have the strength that they need.

When it comes to those who are living a fulfilling life, it could be said that they will have the strength that they need. If this wasn’t the case, it wouldn’t be possible for them to live the life that they lead.

What’s going on?

If a time comes when they are able to step back and see that there has to be another way, they could wonder why their life is this way. What could enter their mind is that they are missing something that other people have.

This is an outlook that will be strengthened if they have been this way for as long as they can remember. However, what if they are this way due to what took place during their formative years?


If this hasn’t entered their mind, it is likely to show that their brain has blocked out most of what took place, which will stop their conscious mind from being able to join the dots, so to speak. With this information in mind, they are likely to be able to see why their life is the way that it is.

This may have been a time when they were physically harmed and perhaps abandoned on a regular basis. In other words, they would have often felt hopeless and helpless and they were hopeless and helpless.

One option

As they were powerless and totally dependent on their parent or parents, there was absolutely nothing that they could do about what was going on. The only thing that could take place was for their brain to automatically repress how they felt and for them to go into a shut-down, collapsed, frozen and disconnected state.

If they had tried to fight back or change what was going on, they probably would have suffered even more. Losing touch with what was going on both externally and internally was their only choice.

It’s Over

This stage of their life is well and truly over, that much is clear; nonetheless, the pain that they experienced will still be held inside their brain and body and their nervous system will often be in the collapsed state that it was forced to be in all those years ago. Taking this into account, purely changing what is taking place in their mind is not going to allow them to transform their life.

What it might do is allow them to push how they truly feel further down but that will be about as far as it goes. The key will be for them to work through the pain that is held inside them and this will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they might need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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