How Do YOU Define You?

Almost from birth, society wants to label us. We are told that we are gifted or athletic or shy or naughty or rebellious or moody…the list goes on and on. As a result, we embody those judgments and end up thinking that’s WHO we are. How many times have you said, “Well, that’s just the way I am”? This way of thinking is normal, but it can severely limit the possibilities we see for ourselves. (It can also annoy the hell out of the people in your life who may be impacted.)

As adults, we are so used to others putting us into neat little boxes that we continue to do it to ourselves. When asked to describe yourself, do you use any of these statements?

“I’m a wife”

“I’m a mom”

“I’m a manager”

“I’m an entrepreneur”

Guess what, peeps? Those are simply experiences you are having. They are not your WHO. We all have many different hats (labels) that we wear and they make it easy for others to define us. But what happens when one of those labels changes? Many times, if we have been identifying only with those narrow definitions, we feel lost and confused.

As an example, my parents divorced when I was fairly young and it was hard on me. I grew up thinking that I would NEVER get divorced. So, I held tight to the label of wife for a very long time. That definition made me feel good and worthy and somehow successful. When I eventually ended up with the label of “DIVORCED”, I was crushed. It became the only way I could define myself in my mind. And to me, that meant that I was a failure and tainted and unlovable. I tried to make peace with it. I tried to redefine it. I tried to justify it. But ultimately, I had to realize that I am not my label. My WHO is not based on my relationship status. Or any other status, for that matter. Who I am is pure love and joy, doing the best I can in this human experience. Each label I am able to identify and then shed, brings me one step closer to living as my authentic self. And every time, without exception, I feel happier and freer.

Now, I’m not advocating for getting rid of all of your responsibilities and going to live on a mountain somewhere by yourself. What I’m saying is that when you connect with your authentic self and live from that place of authenticity, the roles you play in your life will be transformed. Having the confidence of knowing who you are and showing up as your best self every day is a gift you can give to everyone in your life.

So, what labels do you use to define yourself and what would happen if those labels changed? How can you connect to your truest self, in order to live a fully passionate, joyful life?