How To Deal With A Negative Critical Husband: Moody Negative Husband

Last week I heard the following (names changed to protect identity) "Nicola, my husband is chronically complaining and forever in a bad mood. He manages to find something wrong with everything and is constantly feeling hard done by and down. I don't know how to help him or live with him at times! I don't want him to ruin the holidays for me and the children again. What can I do?"

It's extremely challenging to live with a negative person. They may have depression or they may be habitually negative and cannot see how miserable they are making themselves and the toxic effect they are having on others. They may even mock you for being positive or naive when you see the good in things and others. If you have already tried talking to them, asked if they need support and have been met with more negativity this article is for you. I will share with you my 5 secrets to keep you feeling good and your energy high.

In order to protect yourself you need to first understand that your energy and feeling good is Everything and I mean Everything:

For You When you feel good and positive, you not only attract more good things but stressful events are much easier to deal with, if you feel alive and healthy. Keeping a positive vibration is the single most important thing you can do to for yourself, your relationship and any children.

For Them Feeling good also puts you in a much better position to help your spouse. In 2003 I was a volunteer for the Samaritans, an emotional distress / crisis helpline for 4 years. I quickly realized that if I was going to be successful in helping people, I couldn't take on any negative energy. I uncovered many secrets to keeping my energy clean and clear and was able to assist thousands of people in need, without being adversely affected. In fact I felt energized and fulfilled after. The most powerful 5 secrets are listed below, they help me and hope they help you from absorbing negativity.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

NOTE If you are the one who is feeling negative, my heart also goes out to you, I will cover more on this later. In my marriage counseling I tend to help people feel better by supporting them to create a strong sense of purpose in their life and find something they are passionate about. Often if someone has dedicated their life to the marriage and children, they can lose themselves and the consequence of being lost in life is loneliness and negativity... I know I've been there. When these men and women refocus on their own needs, they find the relationship also really benefits.

5 Secrets to Protecting Yourself From Your Spouses Negativity - Save My Marriage

1. Don't Use Negative Emotions To Connect

Often in order to connect with our loved ones, we match their emotions. For example if your partner is annoyed at something you mirror it, to get on the same wave length. The problem with this we compromise our own energy every time we use negative emotions as a tool to connect. We also become less effective in helping them if we are both operating at an emotionally low level. If we're sad, depressed, stressed and frustrated it's much more difficult to listen to others and find solutions. It is possible however to offer compassion and understanding without compromising your own energy.

2. Accept It's Not Your Responsibility

If you take their mood and negative energy as your responsibility then it starts to belong to you, and your body, mind and spirit responds as if, you really are responsible and must fix it. Often when we carry this weight on our shoulders and take on their stress and worry, we can feel overwhelmed and run down. Sometimes we get sick or our performance at work is affected because we are carrying their baggage with us.

No matter how much you love and care about someone, you are not responsible for their happiness. You are responsible for you and your experience of them, but not for them... if that makes sense?

So don't think by taking on your partner's stuff as your own, you are helping them. The best help you can be to your spouse is to keep your spirits high and invite them UP to meet you. Many I work with in marriage counseling find when they release responsibility they can show up in a more responsive way and be more of service to their partner. From a place of positivity we brain storm actions they can take to support their partner to feel good, leaving the responsibility and choice to follow through with the other spouse. How much of what you carry doesn't even belong to you? Really think about this.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

3. Let Go of Judging or Thinking That You Know Better

When we think that we know better and try to change our partner, not only does it often back fire, it also allows their energy to infiltrate ours, I see it all the time in marriage counseling. If you don't want your spouse to affect your energy, then it is important to allow them to make their own choices and hold their own opinions. Similarly the act of judging (even if done silently to yourself) can bring in more negativity, as by focusing on their negativism and what you perceive they are doing wrong puts you on the same low emotional vibe.

Give up trying to convince someone you know what is best for them and making judgments. Your positive energy is the most powerful tool you have to live a happy and fulfilled life, protect it!

4. Don't Give Your Power Away - Stop Reacting

Is your spouse always creating a drama? Are they trying to invoke a negative emotional response from you, in order to "get energy" or what they want from you? Do you allow your spouse's bad mood and day to dictate your own mood and day?

If yes the moment you react you are you giving your power away. This can lead to a gain for them and the cycle to repeat itself. Which won't help you or them long-term and especially when it comes to save your marriage. Remember no one has power over you, they only have the power that you give to them, which is controlled by your thoughts, beliefs and actions. Helping individuals to own their own power and save their marriage is an area I really love to support in, it's crucial for a balanced relationship.

One lady I worked with found the more she reacted the more her husbands complaints increased and he argued she was just as angry and aggressive as him. So she tried not reacting and used to say to him "you're probably right" and carried on about her day. After a short amount of time, he changed his tune dramatically which benefitted her and him and she was able to save their marriage. Before reacting ask yourself is it worth it? Who will it help? This doesn't mean that you cannot speak your truth and set boundaries in a way that supports you and the relationship.

5. Do Not Accept Blame

When negativity is directed at you, do your best to shake it off as quickly as possible. Don't retaliate. Don't brood. And don't get caught in your own pity party because you're married to them. People blame us all the time for things that are out of our control. Just because they blame you, doesn't mean you have to take it on. If you are responsible, be responsible and rectify the situation, but don't allow yourself to be their scape-goat. You do not even need to react to the blame - just let it pass.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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When it comes to building a healthy marriage/relationship, one of the best resources is to hear from couples who have been together for many years and, most importantly, would do it all over again with the same person.

In the marriage/relationship enrichment workshops I run, there are often couples who meet this very criterion. Here are some of the important marriage/relationship advice tips these couples have shared:

1. It's not just about communication.

Of course effective communication is important, but these couples realize that sometimes they're not going to see eye to eye and at some point they just have to let go of an issue.

As one woman shared, "It's just a fact of life that two opinionated people won't always agree. You really have to develop a strong backbone and realize this. Otherwise you're going to keep on talking about the same issue over and over again until you're blue in the face. Honestly, that's not communication, it's futility."

2. You need to get a life...

...more specifically, you need to develop an aspect of your life outside the marriage/relationship that doesn't necessarily include your mate. This is about life-balance, and it allows for a richer life and ultimately a more fulfilling relationship.

Many of these couples have careers, particular interests, or hobbies that they enjoy and find meaningful on their own. This takes pressure off the relationship (and each other) to meet all of your needs (it's unrealistic to expect that the relationship or your partner can meet all your needs...that's an impossibility), and developing a meaningful interest of your own can lead to deeper levels of sharing since you'll be broadening yourself in the process.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

3. Create connecting routines.

Too many couples end up living parallel lives if they do not take the time and effort to nurture their marriage/relationship. But this effort doesn't have to feel like unpleasant work! Successful couples engage in activities together that feed their connection.

Here are some examples that couples have shared (these are activities done together): walking or hiking, cooking, taking classes together, attending theater or musical events, going for drives, participating in a book group, having a movie or date night, playing sports (bowling, softball, pool...or learn a new sport together)...the list is endless.

4. Don't sweat the small stuff but take the serious stuff seriously

This is easier said than done but it can make a big difference in your relationship. A problem arises when you feel something isn't a big deal but your spouse/partner feels it's really important.

Rule of thumb: If your mate believes something is a big deal, start by validating his/her experience rather than minimizing it (even if you don't feel it's important). This will allow your mate to feel loved, understood, and close to you. It's always easier not to sweat the small stuff when you're feeling connected to each other.

5. Successful couples fall in love with each other more than once.

These couples describe falling in love with each other more than once (and in different ways) over the course of their marriage/relationship. There are naturally occurring relationship lulls intermixed with periods of greater connection (emotional and physical intimacy) and intensity.

Feelings change, love intensifies and wanes--over the lifetime of a marriage couples fall in and out of love with each other again and again.

Think of your relationship as a journey--a journey that will involve highs and lows, success and disappointment, discovery and rediscovery. Along this journey, successful couples hold onto the reasons they fell in love in the first place and they find new reasons to deepen their existing love.

Discovering new reasons to fall in love with the same person more than once is the challenge and gift of long-term relationships.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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What's Happening to Marital Relationships?

Unfortunately countless marriages today end up on the rocks (up to 50% of first time marriages in many western countries) often because of a lack of will to make a marriage work.

Keeping a marriage together in good times is undemanding's when times turn sour that relationships tend to fall apart. We are seeing this increasingly at the moment with the world situation as it is and the impact that it is having on peoples finances, jobs and health.

Marriage Care

With a little effort and will on both sides it is possible to bring back the love and caring that both parties in a marital relationship once shared.

Quite simply this is a 1,2,3 step process.

Step 1. Both partners need to make a firm decision to make their marriage succeed. As with all other goals in life you must both desperately want this. There is no point in being half hearted about it...if one or other of you takes a wait and see attitude to it, or leaves it to the other partner, then your chances of success are slim.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Step 2. Communicate...communicate...communicate. Agree about what you are both doing wrong that is detrimentally affecting your relationship. You and your partner need to determine this in honest and open discussion(s) either on your own, if that is possible, or with the help of an intermediary such as a guidance counselor. Your personal feelings and concerns about your marital and family relationships should be aired with complete honesty and without malice. - It is important at this stage to endeavor to keep things on an even keel.

Step 3. Once you have both acknowledged your problems then work out a way to fix them. In our experience, as relationship counselors, we have found that many of the matters that are the cause of the difficulty in making a couples marriage work are minor in nature but have just been allowed to be blown out of all proportion to their actual significance.

These three steps provide troubled couples with a simple strategy that, if employed with honesty, dedication and commitment, can make a major improvement to a marital relationship.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Trying to save your marriage when you feel like you are in it alone is a pretty scary feeling. If you want to save your marriage now because nothing else has worked and you are facing a divorce, then this article may be a life saver for you. I know it was for me! Time is not on your side right now though, so let's cut to the chase!

Feeling like you've tried everything and still the marriage looks like it's over? You will probably not believe this, but the approach I'm about to tell you about has a documented success rate of nearly 90%! I didn't believe it myself when I first heard about it. I soon learned that nearly everything I had been doing in my own attempts to save my marriage was wrong!

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

I learned that to save my marriage when I was facing a divorce, there were specific things that I had to say to my spouse, specific ways I had to behave and specific things that I had to do. It was very simple but it was like nothing I had heard about in our marriage counseling sessions! I learned that traditional marriage counseling only has about a 20% success rate in saving marriages! I guess with this statistic, it's no wonder our divorce rate is so high.

- Focus is on the marriage not the individual

- Gets you in the proper emotional state to be successful with the technique

- Much of what you are doing now is the complete opposite of what you should be doing

Over 60,000 couples have successfully used this technique to save their marriages. It worked for many of those couples when only one spouse wanted to save the marriage! It can work for you because it worked for them! All you need is to be 100% committed and be willing to take action!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.


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Author's Bio: 

Now you can stop your divorce or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit Stop Marriage Divorce

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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