How To Handle A Careless Husband: How To Deal With A Careless Spouse

Have an annoying husband? What are your partner's quirks? We all have one. But according to counselors, as long as your partner's quirk does not endanger your or his safety or health, learning to live with it is the best thing to do.

Here are some annoying things that husbands commonly do:

* Snoring - People snore for different reasons. Some people have a structural defect in the nasal area that makes it hard for them to breathe when they are asleep. Some people are too stressed out and some eat the wrong diet just before they sleep. As long as your partner's snoring does not keep you awake all night long, then just use an earplug. Or you can tell your partner to sleep on his side so that he won't snore.

* Dirty Vocabulary - Guys are guiltier of this. They claim that using four letter words add emphasis to what they're saying. And then there are those who talk dirty. They always have to use words with sexual intonations.

* No Good Manners and Right Conduct (GMRC) - It's not only guys but girls as well who are guilty of not practicing good manners and right conduct (GMRC). It can be embarrassing at times. But to teach old dog new tricks is one of the hardest things to do.

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When the cat is away...

A lot of women worry over what their spouses do at home when they (the wives) are away. Wives think of all sorts of wild things. But do you know that according to studies, most husbands feel lost when they are left on their own? And what do they do? Here are the top answers:

* Tinker with the computer, as in surf the net

* Tinker with the car

* Go on a music trip

* Surf the TV channels with the remote

Only a small percent invite wild friends over or leave the house to have a wild time. It is also amusing to note that a lot of men who are left on their own at home just grab a sandwich or a pack of instant noodles (and other ready-to-eat stuff) instead of cooking a real meal. They also become careless with cleanliness. For instance, they would rather hold their sandwich than put it on a plate! They throw soiled clothes around and do not return magazines in the rack. A lot of them even leave dirty dishes and utensils in the sink!

There are several reasons why you feel that your is annoying. It's hard to change another person but you can change how you react to your situation.

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Having a great marriage is the dream of every woman. The marriage will be even more blissful if the husband is in her control and rarely wavers. However, controlling husbands is slightly difficult than handling a bunch of boisterous kids. Here is what you should know if you want to keep your husband in control.

Never be careless of the way you look

Wives are like trophies and most men take great pride if their wives look good even after years of marriage. Not only is it good for your health and self-esteem, looking good opens several avenues for you in personal as well as professional life. Therefore never be careless about your looks.

Use the carrot and stick approach

This is one trick you have to play with great care. If your husband has been good with you then make sure that he is thoroughly satisfied on the dinner table and on the bed. However, never use sex as leverage to get things done your way.

Stop pressurizing him

Agreed you want to vacation in south of France or want new car. However, you have to consider the financial situation of your husband before you demand such things. After all you should be doing what is good for the family as whole and it also includes you. Therefore control your urge to pressure him to earning more, instead surprise him by contributing to the kitty.

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Give him a break

Running a house and taking care of everyone's needs is stressful and hence sometimes men want to go to the pub and drink themselves silly. This should be acceptable to you as it is one of the ways men bond and unwind. Don't be judgmental about his buddy time.

Take ownership of certain things

If you want to have truly blissful marriage then it is necessary that you share some of his burdens and make life a little easy for him. After all marriage is deal between two individuals. The moment you take your share of responsibilities he will remain firmly in your control.

Think long term

There are times when you have to make a decision whether you want the new car or you want to get rid of the credit card debts. Your husband will appreciate it if you decide to forgo the car and instead suggest that you settle all the debts that you are paying heavy interest on.

Never lose interest in sex

After a point sex loses its novelty and thrill. You can charge up your husband's sexual appetite by enacting his fantasies and keeping the bedroom action hot and happening. Sex is also a good stress buster and releases hormones that make you feel happy.

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Good marriages can survive things like infidelity, lying, coldness, different religions, etc., but there is one thing that can go on for years, hardly noticed at all, and then suddenly cause a seemingly happy marriage to disintegrate.

That thing is the use of words to deliberately hurt the other person.

A friend of mine was married for 22 years before she finally exploded and walked out of what, from most people's point of view, seemed to be a happy marriage. The couple had successfully raised three children and was now financially able to take long vacations, and indulge in more expensive hobbies and activities than they had been able to do before.

So what happened?

The couple often entertained friends at their home and both were well-liked in the community. Unfortunately, early on in the marriage, the husband found that he could get a laugh from their guests by making disparaging remarks about his wife.

At first, they were comments like, "You should have seen the first birthday cake Joan baked for me. It looked like a hat someone had sat down on." Of course everyone, including Joan laughed, and the evening went on.

Over the years, the remarks at Joan's expense became more frequent and finally downright nasty. I even mentioned it to my husband a few times, hoping maybe he would clue Joan's husband in that some of the "jokes" were not funny anymore. My husband replied that it was all in fun and that Joan was a good sport and didn't really mind.

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The last time we visited, the "joke" of the evening had something to do with how Joan's husband was getting tired of sleeping with a cold fish in bed and to let him know if any of us could help him out.

A week later, Joan moved out.

I'm not saying that there weren't other problems in this couple's marriage---problems that might have been solved if the couple had sought help, but what I am saying here is that there is never any excuse for humiliating your partner with words. Words can cut and even when the person saying the words tries to take them back, there is a scar left behind that seldom if ever heals.

If your spouse seems cooler toward you than usual, check out your recent vocabulary. Do you ridicule his or her efforts or behavior? Do you make a point of putting down everything they say, insisting that you know more than they do about the subject? If they accomplish something new in their lives, do you insist on trotting out your own achievements so that theirs look small in comparison?

My Grandpa was fond of telling us that New Year's Day was a good time for each of us to "Take Stock" of our lives to decide where we had done well, and where we might need improvement during the next year. If you are speaking words that hurt, not only your marriage partner, but other people in your life, don't wait until New Year's Day to "Take Stock." Start guarding your tongue today. Who knows, the marriage you save may be your own.

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There are a number of different reasons why people have problems in their marriages.

Just the other day a one of my close friends was saying how his wife always blames him for everything. I thought he was joking so I sarcastically said "that's what wives do, they live for it"...

However, he was not joking. He said seriously, she thinks I'm at fault for every little thing. There are things that are not even my fault. Literally anything that has happened that is bad she blames me for it, but she doesn't take any responsibility for her own actions.

Things You Should Not Do if Your Wife Thinks Everything Is Your Fault

In most cases, when a wife is constantly blaming her husband for things this will cause a problem in the marriage. Criticism and constant complaints are two great ways to destroy a marriage.

It should be noted, that some of the things that your wife blames you for may be true. Since there are two people in a marriage some of the problems are your fault.

However if she is a) denying her own problems then she is making you the center of all that is wrong and b) your wife can express her dislike of issues without being so critical.

The most important thing is to not give up. Many times when a man feels like he is being attacked by his wife with lots of criticism he may just decide to give up and become distant. You may feel the need to just avoid discussing the problem all together. This will only serve to place further strain on your marriage so it is important that you avoid doing this.

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What Can You Do When Your Wife Threatens the Marriage By Blaming You For Everything?...

It is very important that you let your wife know how her actions are affecting you without becoming overly emotional on your end. Basically, do not get into an arguing match if she becomes upset and begins to argue because of something that you have said.

If you initiate the conversation in that manner nothing will be resolved with your wife.

Sometimes writing a letter may be the best way to deal with such a situation as it allows you to freely express yourself without the possibility of interruption. You can finally let your wife know that you don't want problems in the marriage and want to work on fixing everything.

Refuse to engage in confrontations. You will not be able to get your wife to see the situation from your point of view if she doesn't want to. You can't change someone's mind. People have to change for themselves.

A Good Solution That Could Change Your Marriage for the Better

Some of the blame that your wife is placing on you is most likely valid. She should probably learn a more effective way to express her concerns, but even still...moving along.

You can only improve your marriage by choosing to have control over what happens. You will never be able to effectively fix a marriage trying to control your spouse. Each person has to be willing to put in effort to fix the marriage.

So, sit back and think about the valid accusations that your wife has made about your behavior. Then commit to changing the issues that have become a problem in the marriage. This helps to resolve at least some of the problems.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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