How To Save Your Marriage From Addiction: Married To An Addict

It does not matter whether it is illegal drugs, prescribed medications or alcohol. These addictions can easily ruin and end a marriage. In addition to the increased risk of being violent, it is without a doubt that a person who is addicted to anything will not be able to perform all the duties of a spouse. It will also be hard to have any meaningful emotional communication with this person. So, the real question is how do you go about your everyday life while saving your marriage from addictions?

You have to realize the fact that there are people who are more prone to be addicted to something than others. If your spouse is addicted to something then you must take the necessary actions in order to prevent all of this from ruining what you and your spouse have built upon. The key answer to all of these things is to act and you must act now before it is too late. Here are some tips on saving your marriage from addictions.

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The first step is to identify what exactly is your spouse's addiction. This is very hard to do since your spouse will be in denial that he or she is addicted to something. You can also be in denial that your spouse is addicted to something. There are a lot of couples out there who think that their spouse is only dealing with the pressure that one experiences at work. You might be surprised to know that sometimes even a glass of wine a day can be considered alcoholism already. You have to know whether your spouse is being dependent on something or still has the control over these things.

After you and your spouse have identified the problem then the two of you have to be honest with each other. If you are the spouse with the addiction then you should take the necessary steps and accept the fact that you have an addiction. It is only when you have accepted the fact that you can start the path to treating your addiction.

It is a different case when you are the spouse that has discovered the addiction of your loved one. You should not be in denial or think that it's just a phase and your spouse will overcome it. This is not going to help your spouse. You should just be honest with yourself and accept the facts. Only then can you help your spouse in realizing what their addiction is and how it is affecting your marriage. Whoever you are in this situation, you and your spouse have to work together in saving your marriage from addiction.

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The fights between you have gotten more intense. You are sure you're partner is ready to throw in the towel and call it quits. You feel desperate enough to do anything you can to save your marriage. You would say anything, do anything to stop this downward spiral. The step you are about to take is a radical one.

While you may feel the very strong urge to justify your actions or behavior now is the time to be quiet and become a listener. Listen to your partner. What is he or she saying that has gone so wrong in your marriage? Now is the time to become a calming, soothing factor in your marriage. Of course, this is the exact opposite of what you want to do. Control your impulse. You will be surprised at the results, as you learn to disengage from your spouse's arguments.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

You may feel very strongly that you want to talk these things over. There may be accusations that your spouse is throwing at you and you feel the need to justify yourself. Or you simply feel the need to defend yourself. You are both in emotional overload. Take a mental step back from the situation and do some things to relax and calm your mind. At first, your spouse may become more intense in his or her anger, especially now that you are no longer engaging in an argument. Your spouse is trying to get your attention in the only way he or she may know. Through quieting yourself, your spouse will begin to calm down so that more soothing communication can flourish.

Try counting to ten. Walk Away. Take a walk. And while you are strolling talk aloud about your frustrations. It may look weird, but it works. A little yelling at no one, never hurt anyone. Your neighbors may stare at you a bit, but you are doing what is best for you. Call a friend or relative who can offer you support during this difficult time.

Your spouse will be surprised at your response. You will have stopped slinging back accusations. You will have taken the time to think through what he or she is actually trying to tell you. This can be a very calming factor during this tumultuous time. You are allowing your partner to blow off steam, without allowing him or her to get you upset and in an emotional tailspin.

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It's a horrible feeling to see any marriage end; but when that marriage is YOUR marriage, it's utterly devastating. Especially if you are alone in trying to save your marriage.

If this is the situation, then let me take a moment that I feel for you because I have been in your shoes a while ago. Clearly my husband wasn't attracted to me any longer, and my marriage was heading for divorce. I didn't know what I should do - I tried a lot of things but none seemed to work. It seemed like everything was hopeless.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

But now let's fast forward to today! I am still with my husband, and moreover, our marriage is firmer and stronger than it has ever been. My husband loves me now! And looking back, I can see all the mistakes I did now, and I can say very confidently that EVERY MARRIAGE, regardless of how hopeless it seems, can me saved and turned into a lifelong honeymoon.

What I did to stop a divorce was a method called "being inaccessible". This might require further explanation. In this method, you strip out of your "begging, apologetic, depressed spouse" shell, and start being the hard to have, inaccessible individual instead. And I don't need to tell you which one is a LOT more attractive than the other!

It might sound hard to pull off, but you can do it. Know that the "people want what they can't get" law of the universe is not changing any time soon. And you see - it's working AGAINST you right now. If you are able to turn the tables and make it work FOR you, it will make an amazing difference in everything!

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I often hear from people who have decided with complete certainty that they want their spouse back and they want to save their marriage, (despite the fact that they are now separated.) Often, it feels somewhat good to be so sure about this and to make a firm decision. Unfortunately though, saving a marriage is easier if you have the commitment and the cooperation of both people. In order to have a relationship, both people have to participate in it. And, even when one spouse is sure that the marriage is worth fighting for, there is always that fear of rejection and the concern that the other spouse won't agree.

You might hear a wife say: "my husband and I have been separated for about three months. Ironically, I am the one who initially brought up the separation. I am the one who mostly wasn't happy. My husband suggested counseling, but I didn't think that it would work and I didn't want to waste the money. Now that I have spent night after night without my husband and have found that I miss his laugh, his presence, and his sweetness, I realize that I was completely mistaken. Sure, we have our problems. But I had unrealistic expectations of my marriage. I expected too much when I myself gave very little. I regret that so much now. I want my husband back. I want my married life back. Ironically, while I am struggling with the separation, my husband seems to be thriving. He actually seems more relaxed and happy. And, part of me understands this. I was such a tyrant before. I always had him walking on eggshells. So his emotional load is probably a little lighter now. But I am certain that I want him back. I've never wanted anything so much. Sometimes, when we have good conversations on the phone, I want to tell him this. I want to ask him to give our marriage another chance. But I'm afraid this will cause him to back away. I have kept things friendly between us. And frankly, when I was the one who was unsure about our marriage, my husband seemed more invested in our marriage. But, now that he is the one who seems to be pulling away a little and asserting his own independence, he doesn't seem so interested in me and the marriage. So I am afraid that if I tell him how I feel, he is going to start to back away. How do I approach this? I feel like if I leave things at the status quo, he may begin to allow me less of his time and attention."

This is a very valid concern. I don't mean to come across as a pessimist or to try to take away anyone's hope. But I hear quite a bit from wives in this very situation. (And, I've also dealt with this situation myself.) I can tell you that spouses can pull away if you don't handle this with a little care. If your change of heart seems too abrupt, too insincere, or comes at an inopportune time, then you will sometimes find yourself in a situation where you had a different relationship than you had before. Worse, your spouse may start to avoid you. So I would encourage this wife to listen to her gut and to handle this with extreme care. In the following article, I'll offer some tips which I think can help you to handle this in order give you the best chance of success.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Don't Come Out With The Truth Until You Have Laid A Foundation: If you have any doubts about how your spouse is going to feel about coming back, then it is best to work very gradually. Instead of just blurting out that you want him back immediately, you want to gradually increase the quantity and quality of the time that you spend together. If you are successfully able to do this, then you will often find that your relationship is improving, evolving, and changing. Once this happens, you should just naturally more toward a reconciliation pattern without your needing to even make any declaration about it.

I know from experience that it is much better to have patience than to rush into it and then have him pull away and put his defenses up. In this case, the husband was receptive to the wife. They were speaking regularly and getting along well. So, she was in a situation where she could build on this rather than jeopardizing it.

Show Him What Changed Without Directly And Obviously Spelling It Out: Frankly, if the wife were to come out tomorrow and announce that she wanted this husband back, he might resist her. Why? Because he was suddenly enjoying the freedom of not having to walk on egg shells. And he might be reluctant to give that back. So, the wife's job when they got together was to show the husband a new, more laid back version of herself. She wanted to show him that she had changed that part of her personality. And, she needed to show him that she was willing to give in the relationship rather than to only take. This entire process may take a little time. After years of establishing these issues in the relationship, it was going to take some time to erase them. But doing so is very important because it's the only way that your spouse is going to feel confident in coming back.

But to address the initial concern, in my experience, the way to tell him that you want him back without having him pull away is to not make any official announcement at all, because that has the risk of rejection. Instead, you should spend more quality time together and you should show him meaningful changes. Then, as your relationship improves as a result, then reconciling should just be the natural result.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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