How To Solve Husband And Wife Problem: How To Solve Marriage Problems

In relationship conflicts, the problem is not always the problem. Often the solution is the problem. When you try to solve a problem and the conflict remains, the way you went about solving it created another problem. When your solution and your spouse's solution are in conflict, the problem persists. When you both believe that your solution is the only correct one, the problem persists.

"Just do it my way and everything will be fine." Wouldn't life be simpler if people just fell in line? Of course. But how realistic is that? Often the way you go about solving a problem creates yet another problem. If you want your husband to clean the bathroom and you remind him 10 times a day, give him the guilt trip, or refuse to have sex until he does, your solution to this problem created another problem. He is now angry and resentful that you're treating him like a child and you are withholding sex.

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You want to raise your children one way and your wife has other ideas. So both of you use your very different child-rearing methods because you cannot figure out how to agree on which way is best. The result: your children learn quickly how to manipulate both of you to get what they want. Because you didn't negotiate and plan how you wanted to raise your children you now have another problem: children who are training you!

When you hold on stubbornly to your solution, believing there is no other possible way to solve your problem, you close off any workable solutions. Negotiating and problem-solving take time. Often couples do not want to do this. They just want the problem solved. Usually, that means they want the problem solved "my way."

As you can see, sometimes the problem is not the problem. Often the solution is the problem. You have a creative mind. You can find a variety of solutions. If you are stuck consider a therapist or relationship coach to help you see other possibilities. Be careful to avoid becoming so invested in your solution that you refuse to look at other options. There is always another way.

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If your marriage is currently facing a crisis, you must now be in urgent need for the best tip to save marriage. No doubts, there are numerous ways in which you can save a relationship but if you are short of time, probably because you still love your spouse and do not want to see your marriage ending in a break up, the best tip for you now is communication.

Yes, this may seem to be a very simple tip but these days, couples tend to be very busy with their work, so much so that they forget to allocate time to communicate with each other. It is common for couples to work long hours and return home very late at night. As such, they might not get to see each other except on weekends.

This gets worse if there are kids in the picture because parents will be very busy tending to the needs of the children. Sometimes, they may not even have time to sit down for dinner together. By the time the children are asleep, the parents will be so tired that they too turn in for bed. As such, they have missed the chance to have a heart-to-heart talk at the end of each long day.

Sometimes, it is when the kids are already in their teens or even young adults that the couples realize that they have started to drift apart. They have worked hard their whole life, providing for the family but have forgotten to enjoy family life and couple life together till many years later.

However, all is not lost if you are at such a stage as it is still not late for you to start communicating with each other. If you are just beginning to feel the drift, get started with talking to each other every day. Communication is the best tip to save a marriage. It is only through a heart-to-heart talk that you can get to find out what your partner is thinking about.

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When you are making your attempts to communicate with your spouse, do not despair if he or she refuses to reciprocate at the beginning. If you still love your spouse and you do not want your marriage to end up in a divorce, you have to work at saving your relationship. You can start by making an appointment with your spouse to talk things over. You will have to take the first step even if you are not sure if your spouse will be willing to talk.

Learn to listen to what your partner has to say without interrupting or defending yourself. Interruptions and defensiveness will only put your spouse off and your attempts at communicating will be fruitless. Put your pride aside and allow time for each other to talk. You will be surprised by how much more you get to learn about each other after that.

If you need help to taking that first step in communicating with your other half, there are many books and even counselling agencies which can help you with it. These books and experts will be able to teach you how to bring forth your suggestions, how to show that you are interested and how to manage your anger so that you do not get defensive or angry when your spouse is talking.

You cannot expect your marriage to be all loving and romantic like before from now onwards but that is a good start. Continue to listen and talk to each other because there is no better tip to save a marriage than spending time alone with each other and finding out more about your spouse. Remember, it takes two hands to clap, so both of you have to work hard to save marriage if you do not want to lose your other half.

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Are you struggling in your marriage? Do you wonder what happened to the relationship that you were so excited about on the honeymoon and why you and your spouse so feel so isolated from each other? You are at a place that most couples have found themselves in and were able to come out on the other side.

If you see someone who says they have been "happily married" for 30 years. What they generally mean is that they have stuck it out through some of the hard years and didn't wound each other to the point that they couldn't repair the relationship, and that now they are able to enjoy the fruits of their hard work. You can move through this season as well if make sure to not further damage the relationship and commit to get and act on information that others have found helpful in putting their marriage back together.

Here are 3 things you need to avoid during this season so that you can begin working on the relationship:

1. Don't lash out in anger. You are probably frustrated right now but if you yell and scream you may feel better but your spouse will be wounded and will remember what you said long after you have forgotten.

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2. Don't assume the worst. Often times when you are in a rough place in your marriage you will tend to negatively interpret things. Simple questions like "When will you be home? Where are you going? What would you like to do this weekend?" can seem like a full on attack if you are at odds with each other. Train yourself to not see these questions or statements as attacks, because often they are not.

3. Don't avoid conflict. We think that our marriage will be better if we don't deal with the hard issues that we know need to be addressed. The reality is that if you avoid them they generally grow and do not go away. So make sure you address them, just be smart about how and when you do so.

If you will avoid these 3 traps this will give you enough good will to start working on your marriage together. Even if you spouse isn't interested in working on your marriage you can still get the information you need and begin working on your relationship, because every marriage has a chance and every marriage is worth fighting for. It just takes someone going first.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Divorces are on the rise, and they are costly and in most cases unnecessary. If you want to know a few different effective ways to start getting your relationship back on track, you will want to take a look at some of the information in this article. The truth is that with the right approach, you can avoid becoming just another statistic and have many happy years with your spouse.

All relationships require a few different basic things to work properly, and one of those things in honesty. Some people hold the belief that smaller white lies are okay to tell in a relationship when they are for the good of the other person, but that is really something that isn't for us to decide. When it comes to just about any type of relationship, completely disclosure is the best approach.

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Another important part of relationships is communication. Being able to communicate well with your spouse will be a critical part of saving your marriage. You may think that you already have the communication aspect of your relationship down, but you might be surprised at how many different things you still need to work on when it comes to communication.

Good communication requires more than just simply talking and listening to each other. Although that is what it is in its most basic form, there are many subtleties that people overlook. To be a good listener, you must give your full and undivided attention to the person who is speaking. Doing this will make it easier when it is your turn to speak and respond to what was just said to you. If communicating on a regular basis about your issues and other things is a little awkward at first, make sure to practice as much as possible, because practice makes perfect.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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