Although a woman may feel immense hurt and anger to discover that her partner has visited with a prostitute, it is strongly recommended that he be given a chance to explain the circumstances. There are two types of men who see prostitutes.

The first type is the man who has an addiction to anonymous sex - the man with what's called "Casanova Complex". He often had a suppressive childhood and is acting out a rebellious domination which is easily expressed with prostitutes.

If your man is this type you had better end the relationship immediately. He has a serious problem and needs long-term therapy!

The second type is the one-off experimenter. He had sex with a prostitute as a novelty. He may have been caught up in the excitement of a bucks' night, he might have been drunk, persuaded by a friend, or just desperate to ease the tension of a traumatic event in his life (loss of a job or grief after a death of someone close). Sometimes he was just curious.

Please know that I do not condone any of his excuses (especially being drunk –just ask the judge of a hit and run drunk driver as to whether the drunkenness justifies the behaviour).

A woman often would prefer that her man had strayed with a prostitute rather than had an affair because at least there had been no emotional betrayal. Although the discovery may challenge your security at first, you could be able to recover if he builds up the trust steadily over time and demonstrates that he cherishes your love and you.

There could be problems for the woman who can't forgive and forget, however. On the surface, a women may appear to be able to forgive relatively easily if she finds out her man has seen a prostitute. This is particularly so for women with children and community responsibilities who must "get on with supporting everyone else". However, she may hurt deep down and her trust is shaken. She may find it difficult to relax during sex (some women brood about what he did with "her") and suddenly find herself flying into a rage with him one day over the simplest thing. It's best to see a therapist in this situation and work through the upset.

Both the man and his partner can be traumatized by the worry that a health risk may have been made. This can be a reason for massive anger attacks by the woman who feels that she and her children may have been exposed to danger because of his thoughtlessness.

Objectively, there is a need for responsible assessment of possible health consequences ¬everyone needs to go and have tests.

Because of the very real health risks that are taken, it is necessary that your partner specify the clinical details of his encounters so that responsible steps to assess subsequent health status can be made.

Will the level of trust ever be regained?

Some women become obsessed with doubts and give their man a hard time. He's under suspicion even if he's three minutes late with fetching the groceries from the supermarket! If he can convince her that he is not continuing to visit with prostitutes (if he is still going, he better not be found out again!) and if his partner has some counseling for her upset, and if he dedicates himself to showing her that she's the special one for him, trust can be regained over time.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Janet Hall is a psychologist, hypnotherapist, sex therapist, author, professional speaker, trainer, and media consultant. Jan consults regularly with print media and is a frequent guest on talk-back radio and current affairs shows.

Jan was a regular for two years on the Sex Life television program in Australia. Her user-friendly strategies offer practical solutions to sexual and relationship issues so that you can have the love and the sensational sex that you deserve. Jan has a unique ability to encourage people to clarify their situation and solve their own problems with both heart (trusting intuition and feelings) and head (with logical analysis and rational prioritization). She believes that people deserve to feel empowered and allow themselves to be the best they can for the good of all. Jan has a happy knack of making psychology user friendly.

Dr Janet Hall