How To Work On Your Marriage: How To Make A Marriage Work When It's Broken

How To Work On Your Marriage: How To Make A Marriage Work When It's Broken

For couples that are looking for ways to save their marriage and prevent it from ending in divorce, need to work together. It is very difficult to watch a once precious marriage crumble and fall apart. It is heartbreaking to watch as two people that were once so in love, grow apart and go their separate ways. If you want to stop the disintegration of your marriage, both people will have to work together.

The first thing to do is chill out. Take the time to step away from the situation and catch your breath. Don't literally take a break from the marriage, just step back a little and calm down. It takes no time at all before things become overheated and out of control. Give yourself some time to cool off. You were likely told to cool off by counting slowly to 10 when your were young in order to get your emotions under control.

The same idea will apply in this case too. Before you say or do anything, take a breath. The next time your spouse says something that angers you, get control of yourself, calm down and release your anger. By releasing your anger you can learn to communicate and take the necessary steps to save your marriage.

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Make sure you understand what is going on while you are taking the time to breathe. Take a good honest look at what is really happening. This is the time to look at the whole picture and look at the situation from different perspectives as well. Things might look pretty bad from where you are standing at the moment. If you try to view your situation from different perspectives, things might not be nearly as bad as you imagined.

Try looking at the situation from your spouse's perspective as well. When looking at these other perspectives you may be able to figure out what caused things to get out of control. There could be a simple solution that will save your marriage.

Learn to laugh at yourselves. You shouldn't make light of your situation, but it means that you you can see what actually caused things to snowball you might end up laughing about it.

It is amazing how tiny things can cause a situation to become out of control when it didn't have to. It can actually be hilarious if you are willing to allow it to be. There are times when people that are going through a rough time stop and say, "Someday we will look back at this moment and laugh!" Don't wait for that moment, go ahead and laugh.

Look for ways that you can improve yourself. Once you have taken a moment to catch your breath and gotten a clear perspective on your situation, you can move on. When you realize what is at the root of the problem you may find that the situation you have been struggling with is very small and manageable so that you can get things back on track.

The next thing that you need to do is to make a commitment to finding a way to improve. If you are the one that is responsible for the little things that get blown out of proportion, then try stopping it. If you have learned that you overreact, then stop it. Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage.

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When you're living in a loveless marriage it can feel very much like you're wasting your time and emotional energy. Many people in a situation like this wonder about their future. They think about whether they should take the steps towards divorce or just accept the fact that their relationship will never be what it once was. If this sounds like a definition of your marriage, you need to make some hard decisions. Unless you address the problems now and get the marriage back on a loving track, you may have to face a future filled with emptiness and loneliness.

One thing you must give some careful thought to if you're living in a loveless marriage is whether you still like and respect your spouse. Falling out of love is sometimes confused with boredom or resentment. A couple gets to a place where they are so disconnected emotionally that they just stop trying to get along. They usually either argue continuously or they just don't talk at all. Spend some time thinking about your partner and what you feel for them. Consider what your life would be without them and if growing old with them is still high on your priority list. If you realize that you still need them or want them, that's a sure sign that you need to put some serious effort into rekindling the flame.

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If the distance between you and your spouse is being caused by an adulterous affair, that's a big concern. Some couples decide to stay together for the sake of their children after an affair has come to light. They think that they are doing what is best for their family even though all the love that was there has been pushed aside in place of anger and resentment. If your marriage has been rocked by infidelity and it's impacted how you feel about your spouse, that's a major concern. Simply saying that you two will stick together for the kids won't make the situation any more tolerable. If keeping your family intact is that important to you, you need to work on rebuilding the marriage as well. Children can easily pick up on tension between their parents, so you need to work at alleviating that and rediscovering the love and commitment.

Deciding whether to continue living in a loveless marriage isn't cut and dry. You and your partner need to take some time to evaluate the potential for rebuilding the bond between the two of you. Once you do that you can then move forward with your decision knowing you've worked together to reach a solution.

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It is so heartbreaking when, after a long time, you get the feeling that your marriage is over. Even worse though, is the realization that the years that you and your spouse were together might be coming to an end. However, there is really no point in becoming depressed about your situation, but rather to do something constructive about it.

For instance, if you are in doubt as to whether your marriage is over, try to notice the signs that will let you know that it is really so. There is also really no point in getting angry with your spouse, because it is more than likely that both of you contributed in some way to the marriage coming to an end.

The sensible thing to do is to sit down and have a talk with your spouse, without getting into any arguments. You need to discuss whatever problems you have, and decide if there is any chance that the marriage can be saved. Be open and honest with each other, and try to keep the discussion as calm as possible, without blaming each other.

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There might be a good chance that seeing a professional will help to get your marriage back on track again, but if you and your spouse do not agree to this, then unfortunately the signs are there that your marriage is definitely over.

If this were the case, then it would be in your best interests to keep things as friendly as possible between you and your spouse. This is especially important if you have children, so that you can keep in touch with each other in a friendly way, for the sake of your children.

When it gets to the stage when you and your spouse just don't enjoy each other anymore, or if you find that you hardly speak to each other, then it is time to call it quits. When your marriage is over, it definitely doesn't mean that you and your spouse can't have respect for each other, remain friends, and go your own ways in life.

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As unbearable as it is, when a marriage has fallen apart, it is sometimes better to accept the situation, heal yourself of all the pain and anger, and get on with your life. It is very difficult to do this though, especially if you still love your spouse, but there is really no point in trying to hang on to something that may never be again. If you can accept that your marriage is over, this is a huge step toward healing your inner self and getting on with your life.

It could also be that, because you still love your spouse that you simply refuse to accept that your marriage is over. Try to think rationally and make a point of looking for certain signs that will show you that your marriage is indeed coming to an end. If your husband makes a point of being away from you most of the time, he obviously just doesn't want to be with you as much as he did before. Then there will also be the times, which are almost always, that everything you say or do irritates him, and you end up having an argument. The two of you hardly ever sit and chat anymore, and the intimacy that you once enjoyed together has all but disappeared, and he shows absolutely no interest in you at all anymore.

As hurtful as it is, these are just a few of the signs that should show you that your marriage is over. It would be best for you to accept the situation, because at this stage, no amount of begging and pleading will help at all. It will be in your best interests to be with your friends and family in these difficult times, who will be more than willing to help you to get through all the trauma, and be there for you as you rebuild your life and can look at things in a more positive manner.

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What is the point of worrying about your troubled marriage, and not doing anything about it? I mean, if your husband is so important to you, stop sitting around moping about it, take action and fix it!

Obviously you're worried about your marriage, or you wouldn't be reading this article. The thing is, even though everything was fine up until a little while ago, it doesn't mean that you should put blinkers on, forget about it, and hope that it'll go away on it's own - it's NOT going to happen.

You need to put some effort into trying to get your husband back again. If you really don't know what to do, read on, and you'll discover some really great tips that will get you on your way to get your husband back.

Has your husband all but stopped talking to you? Well, don't just leave things like that, sit him down and ask him what the problem is. There is a big possibility that it isn't you at all, but some problem or another at the office that's really worrying him.

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You're not going to know though, unless you ask him - right? If you find that this is the problem, then be supportive, and let him offload all his worries to you. This will make him feel a whole lot better immediately - it will show him that you care.

However, if problems at the office are not the reason for his attitude towards you, you still need to know what's bugging him, so ask him. No matter what it is, just the fact that you care enough to sit down and discuss the situation with him, will make him change towards you.

If there is something specific that you do or say that is making him mad, then apologize to him, and tell him that you'll stop immediately. Say to him that you don't want to make him unhappy, and that you're willing to stop these things so that you can carry on as before.

Now, go out of your way to make your husband feel REALLY special. Put little love notes in his lunch box for work, run a hot bath for him when he gets home, make that special dinner for him - in fact, do anything to get your husband back! He'll love you, and love being pampered a little as well.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.