Husband Unhappy With Family Life: My Husband Says He's Unhappy In Our Marriage

When you ask yourself this question "What is Happiness?" It sounds like a ridiculous question. How on earth can you possibly not know that happiness in your marriage means? You have been married for years.

The sad thing is many couples do not really understand the meaning of happiness even though they appear to be happy in their marriage.

Happiness is not a luxury. It is a need by any individual or married couple. Every one of us deserves to be happy. It is an elusive subject and little thought or consideration is given. However, if you take the time to understand the meaning of happiness to your current life and situation, you will be able to position yourself and claim this wonderful, life-affirming quality not only for yourself but also your spouse or partner and most importantly your family.

The reason why many marriages face problems is because couples do not put much thought into it. Most couples assume that happiness is automatically either in the marriage or not. They do not have any idea what happiness actually means hence whenever they are faced with problems in the relationship or marriage, they are unable to attain it, maintain it or solve it.

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Majority of couples look at happiness in 3 ways:

1. External happiness

2. Internal happiness

3. Acceptance happiness

Whatever term is used, the main ingredient to realizing happiness in your life and your relationship or marriage, you MUST compare notes with your spouse or partner! Understand their trigger point.

What is external happiness?

These groups of people are generally those who view happiness as the result of what they have, what they have achieved and what they do. The experience great satisfaction and happiness to matters influenced and affected by what is around them. Purchasing a brand new house, taking the family for an expensive vacation are things that make them experience happiness.

Are you an "internal happiness" person?

You are an internal happiness person if you care more about who you are rather than what you have or do. You are a calm, easily content and most of the time rational in your approach to life. You have the tendency to see others in the same manner.

Who are the "acceptance happiness" people?

If you know anyone who is boring and have an unmotivated outlook in life, chances are they are categorized as the acceptance happiness people. Even though those who fall under this category are capable of dealing with life difficulties more efficiently, they prefer to take things as they are and dislike any type of change. They will lead the same type of lifestyle day in and out unless it is very necessary to change.

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I came across an article today: LOVE AND MARRIAGE THE TORAH'S CRITERIA by Rivka Olenick.

It helped me think about my own marriage, and the way that many couples approach the idea of being together before they get married vs. what they think after the wedding. People often believe they know what love is after seeing a limited view of their spouse-to-be.

When they're asked, "why do you guys want to get married?" They say, "I just love the way he [fill in the blank]." or "She and I have so much in common".

But when a real test comes, like always having to pick her socks or dealing with his less than average meals (sic), both parties become greatly disenchanted. After they have the opportunity to discover more about the other person, the "love" fades and resentment moves in.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

So what does it take to make it work? Of the happy couples I've talked with, most attribute their happiness to the real love that grows after marriage. Often times it's not a pretty love. Partners may have to get dirty, like gardeners who expect good things to grow after they've done the work and have overcome their selfishness.

This kind of love grows when they lose a loved one but can find comfort from God and each other during their grief. It's the kind of love that develops when they are in danger of losing their house or job, but can see beyond their circumstances. Or it's the kind that matures when they're able to overcome adultery and find forgiveness not only heals, but seals their bond to one another.

This love is not an overnight love. It doesn't come quick, and it is a challenge for our microwave society. But these couples keep pressing on, believing that happiness can be achieved. Fortunately, for most persevering couples, it is.

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There are a variety of reasons that so many marriages end in divorce, but that doesn't mean yours has to. You can get your relationship back on track with the person that you love by remember a few simple things. Although these may seem like they are simple enough, never under-estimate how much hard work it takes to revive a marriage after it has taken a few hits over the years. Sometimes it takes a while to start seeing real progress because marriage is a complex thing.

One of the best things you can do to improve your relationship with your spouse is to listen to everything that he or she says. It's also important to talk things out instead of just fighting. When two people fight they shout and scream and end up saying things that they regret. You want to avoid this at all costs because it will get you absolutely nowhere. Instead, calmly explain how you feel about something in the moment. If you feel like you can't calmly express yourself at that very moment, give yourself time to cool down, but never become a "ticking time bomb" where you are just waiting to explode at that person over something they did.

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A good marriage is also based on complete honesty. Most people think that they can get away with lying about some "small" thing, while talking about the "bigger" things. The problem with this is that people have different ideas about what is "big" and what is "small", so it's always good to be completely honest to avoid future arguments and for the sake of respecting the person that you are with. If you don't show them respect, then they won't respect you and the marriage will continue to decline and may eventually lead to divorce, which is what you want to be avoiding at all costs. There is always a way to save a marriage, you just have to find out what that is for you specifically.

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It's horrible to know that hundreds of thousands of people searching for "save my marriage now." With this in mind, we all should know that a marriage is an extension of a friendship. It takes effort to make a marriage go the distance and also a willingness to change.

Relationships, marriages, and dating are all about two people with completely different personalities and upbringings being brought together to accept each other for who they are. Marriage is a powerful commitment that takes trust, honesty, and communication to work.

You don't your partner for granted and they don't take you for granted. You need to be able to depend on your partner and trust them. You'd be amazed what people in relationships say about their partner. Some don't think they're partner can be trusted, or that they aren't reliable.

If you are looking for "save my marriage now" you need to first be able to recognize that your partner will make mistakes. No one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. Relationships are hard to start and its hard to keep one going. With that said, you're gonna have to be able to accept your partner for who they are.

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You and your partner are gonna have to tackle problems together so that you strengthen your marriage and relationship. The first step toward saving a marriage is establishing communication so that you both can sit down and identify the problems that you both feel are causing the marriage to sink.

When you both can identify those problems, you then make the necessary compromises and commitments to do your part in fixing those problems together. You meet each other halfway. If you need him to help you with the kids or you need her help with stress, you help each other.

Your goal in saving a marriage is be able to change so much that your partner begins to think "This is something he never would have done for me..." or "I can't believe she did this for me...." You make your marriage different than it was before.

Its all about communication. Communication is the most fundamental building block in a relationship. In simple terms, no communication equals no relationship. If you can change and communicate with each other and commit to fix things together, then you can save a marriage.

Nothing is impossible in life, and if you want to save your marriage or get your ex back in your arms its possible. You just need to show that things will be different and take the initiative in making things different.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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