My Wife Won't Go To Marriage Counseling: Can I Save My Marriage Without Counseling and If So How

Marriage is hard and even people head-over-heels in love will experience trying times every now and then. However, sometimes issues become too large to overcome on their own or couples discover that they have drifted apart after a few years and have a hard time getting back to happier days in the relationship.

When this happens, couples either divorce or take a step back and decide to seek out couples counselling to help them identify any latent and unresolved problems. Couples that seek professional help will be able to identify potential blocks in their relationships in addition to highlighting unresolved problems in the relationship.

Professional counsellors are trained in conflict therapy and teach their clients how to become effective communicators. Communication plays a large part in successful relationships and knowing how to properly transmit feelings can mean all the difference between breaking up or staying together.

Some people are unaware of the destructive nature of certain aspects of their personalities. When a conflict arises, someone may simply avoid the issue altogether and try to leave the room when faced by a problem and others may explode. Counsellors help people identify certain problematic behaviours that can destroy a relationship.

Many times these people are unaware just how damaging it can be to improperly deal with a conflict. Others are aware it is wrong, but have no idea how to change that part of their personality.

A professional therapist will help him or her learn to recognise those traits and then give him or her tools to modify the behaviour to a more appropriate response. However, before the therapist makes any modifications, he or she will spend the initial visit with the couple trying to learn about the details of their relationship.

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They will assess the relationship and aim to learn about any issues, if anyone feels victimised and what each person hopes to get out of the relationship and counselling session.

Then, once the background has been established, the professional will delve into specific issues and give them tools for modifying their responses to certain negative stimuli or traits.

Sometimes couples do not even know if they need therapy. However, if a partner suggests they go visit a professional counsellor, they find themselves arguing or avoiding the same issue, or they are about to be presented with a new life challenge that will put extra strain on the marriage.

At times even the happiest couples are challenged when they must move to a new country, welcome a new baby or lose a job. Being placed under sudden and growing stress can wreak havoc on a formerly happy relationship.

Chronic stress causes people to change and if they do not get professional help quickly, they will soon discover that their relationships are being strained. However, if they recognise the signs of trouble within themselves or the relationship, they should seek out the help of a professional before it is too late.

Studies have shown that the longer couples wait to engage a professional relationship therapist, the more damaging for the relationship. Some couples reach a point of no return. That is, one part of the couple may end up doing something drastic in their unhappiness which would cause irreparable damage to the relationship.

Counsellors are trained to prevent couples from ending relationships and helping them get back to where they were when times were good. They highlight each couple's strengths as well as give them tools to effectively communicate with each other.

A good marriage counsellor will teach couples how to love each other again. Not by using tricks to make them fall in love, but by giving them a newfound appreciation for the person they chose in life. No relationship is perfect and therapists help couples to see that honesty, communication and appreciation are the key to loving relationships.

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Do you know anyone who has gotten a divorce? Perhaps your parents or in-laws or sibling has had the unfortunate experience of divorcing. As a child of divorced parents I can tell you that it takes a big toll on the family. My mother passed away at the tender age of 33 partly I say do to the stress in her life after the divorce. I'm not saying your life will take such an unfortunate turn but are you looking out for signs that your marriage is in trouble?

Ok, there are some folks who clearly see signs of trouble in their marriage but they choose to ignore them. For example, if a couple hasn't been intimate once in the bedroom over the last year then more than likely, unless there is a medical issue, there is a problem in the marriage.

Another problem that couples overlook at times is an inappropriate relationship with members of the opposite sex. A spouse saying "We are just friends" is an excuse for "I want to be intimate with my friend of the opposite sex". If that's not the case then your friendship and feelings should be more important than a friendship your spouse has with anyone else.

Now there are some less than obvious signs your marriage is in trouble that you need to be mindful of.

7 Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble

1. You find it more and more difficult to forgive your spouse. What happens in many marriages is that past offenses are never truly forgiven and what you end up with is bitterness and resentment. The problems of today get lumped in with unresolved past problems and you end up carrying anger and negative thoughts and feelings toward your spouse.

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2. You decide to stop sharing your thoughts, feelings and dreams with your spouse because you feel that's it's a waste of your time.

3. You find yourself being very critical of your spouse and have no problem letting him or her and everyone else know about his flaws and mistakes.

4. You find reasons and excuses to not spend time with your spouse. Anything and everything takes a priority over spending time with the love of your life.

5. You are coping with your spouse and the marriage troubles by over extending yourself in areas such as work, church and leisure activities to bring peace and happiness to your life.

6. You take no interest any longer in encouraging your spouse. In fact, you find yourself at times making sarcastic or hurtful comments, and rather enjoy it.

7. You tune out your spouse when he or she tries to talk about your marriage problems.

You might be dealing with some of the problems above or you might have some different ones you are experiencing. Regardless of the problems you are facing in your marriage, they can be overcome. I hope you believe this.

Paying attention to the signs of life is what helps most of us avoid problems and pitfalls. Signs are needed to help steer us in the right direction and in marriage can help couples honor their vows of loving in sickness and in health until death do they part.

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You will find a successful way to save a marriage in this article. I don't know what the problem in your marriage is, but if you still love your partner, then you should be ready to learn how to save your marriage.

If you are trying to save a marriage in an ideal world, both you and your partner are helping each other in order to get the marriage back on track again. However, this is not an ideal world. So, it is very possible that you may be the only one who is trying to save your marriage as well.

Well, it is considered to be normal if you want to save a marriage, but your spouse doesn't, or the other way around. However, this is not an important thing that you should worry about. As time goes by, when you are trying your best to save your marriage, your reluctant partner should start helping you to rescue the marriage as well.

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However, is it possible that you can save your marriage on your own? The answer is yes, it is possible for you to do that. The best way to save a marriage alone is to look for a step-by-step guide in order to learn some good techniques and apply them to your situation.

There are many experts in this field who are now writing their advice and it can be easily found on the internet. Whether you like it or not, these guides are considered to be one of the best ways for you to save a marriage. Besides, they have been successfully used by many couples around the world as well.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

It is definitely possible to save your failing relationship. No situation is unsalvageable. It is not too late for you to salvage the situation. Sometimes, when we are together with our partner for too long, we start to take the relationship for granted. This is when all the problems start.

Therefore, the first thing that you must do is to rekindle love and attraction in the relationship. Get back the romance that once brought the both of you together in the first place. One very effective way to rekindle love is to start spending more time together. Take a break from your work and go for a holidays. Holidays is the best time to patch things up and bring the romance back to the relationship.

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Bringing back the fond old memories is also another very good way to rekindle love. By going to places that both of you visited in the past or bringing out old photos, you can make your partner remember the good old times again.

Also, you must spend time to analyze the situation. Find out what are the real reasons that make your relationship fails. Some of the reasons can be: lack of open communication, lack of trust, lack of healthy sex life, character, etc.

Next, ask your partner out to have a heart to heart talk. Do not get into an argument during the conversation as this will make the matter worse. Try to understand your partner's expectation of the relationship and also not forgetting to let him or her knows yours too.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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Looking for love and romance can be challenging. Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com