I Don't Want Our Marriage to End, But I Don't Know How to Save It: How To Make Your Marriage Happy Again

I Don't Want Our Marriage to End, But I Don't Know How to Save It: How To Make Your Marriage Happy Again

It can be devastating if it feels like your spouse is no longer attracted to you and doesn't seem to want to be together with you any longer. I'm sure you can recall that your marriage started out with a commitment to love and care for each other. The sad truth is, though, it's not unusual for marriages to face challenges quickly.

When you feel like your partner is no longer attracted to you, when sex is nonexistent, and you go through the day feeling sad and hopeless, it's time to think about how you can save your marriage. So many people in marriages are walking through the day pretending that things are fine and everything is okay. They avoid talking about the elephant in the room. Is there anything you can do when this strikes in your marriage?

The fact is that even though the connection seems lost between the two of you and you wonder if it's possible for it to return there is hope. Ultimately the strength of your marriage will depend on reconnecting to each other and to your ability to care, to feel attachment, to develop a deeper intimacy, and to express emotion to each other.

Don't expect that your marriage won't have conflicts, just resolve to tackle those challenges as they come along and to let them go once they're finished. Deep down we all want to connect to someone else, we all want to feel passion, excitement, and to believe we matter to someone. So it's hard not to feel vulnerable, confused, and lost when the person you thought cared about you the most no longer seems interested in you. To get your marriage back on track you have to start somewhere.

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This is what you can do now:

Start with figuring out what the real problem is. Don't get caught up in focusing on the wrong issues. If your marriage has become a dull and boring routine then look to liven it up. If the stressors of day-to-day life have brought you down, then seek out ways to get back the romance. If it's a question of any kind of abuse, either verbal or physical, don't fool around wishing things will change, take matters into your own hands and address it upfront. The fact is if you take on the problem instead of avoiding it or dancing around it you have a better chance of having some change occur in your relationship. Evading a problem in your relationship just means that you put off the inevitable disappointment.

Secondly, make a commitment to work out what it is that's gone wrong. If you really wonder "can I save my marriage?" Make a list of the priorities in your relationship and ask your spouse to do the same. Then try to figure out which of your priorities don't match. Sometimes it's as simple a thing as physical attraction. This is common after people have been together for a few years. Perhaps you let yourself go and need to start an exercise program or begin dieting and eating better. Maybe the two of you are not having any new experiences together and need to get out more. It could be that you simply need some time away from the ordinary humdrum routine.

Finally, put some time aside to devote to working things out. There are lots of great resources out there that you can take advantage of to help your marriage flourish. For example, there are now some time-tested courses available on the internet. You can use these courses within your home as long as the two of you are willing put the effort in. And if your spouse doesn't want to put the effort in? Well, that tells you something about where your relationship is headed too.

A committed relationship like marriage can bring excitement and passion into our lives and make every day a thrill. But when a marriage goes wrong, troubles pile up, and resentment and frustrations threaten to overwhelm you, marriage can become hell on earth. Realize that over time a marriage, and any relationship for that matter, is going to require some work.

If you're serious about making changes in your marriage and don't want to be a victim anymore then start taking steps, even if they're small ones, to save your relationship. Although it might seem frightening and it could be painful to try new things there's no doubt it will not be any worse than the unhappiness you've been enduring already.

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Despite the fact that looking after a marriage is something which every couple has to do, there are still a fair amount of these relationships which are in a bad place.

Those of us who do want to have a go at making the marriage work are at jeopardy of following bad advice. Although modern technology is fantastic, a negative consequence is that it's very easy to get a hold of a large amount of information on all things love and relationships. It is then difficult to know what sources you can and can't trust.

One example of advice that is commonly given, yet is not necessarily helpful suggests saying the right things to improve your relationship. The problem with this is if your spouse doesn't trust you, it will take more than just words to regain their confidence.

Even if your partner does come across as understanding, chances are the issue will still be niggling away at him or her afterwards.

A more effective approach which you could use is to sit down with your partner and honestly discuss each underlying reason that took you both to this situation. It won't be easy, but it will be far more productive than sweeping the issue under the rug and leaving it to linger there.

It is important to recognise that typically if you're asking for forgiveness, you are more concerned about saving your own skin as opposed to your partner's feelings. This will not help your marriage in the long run. It is instead essential that you appreciate the mistakes which you've made and commit yourself to not making them again.

Another bad move to avoid is deciding to spend time apart from each other. In doing something like this, it is very easy for the marriage to deteriorate and the move out to become a permanent one.

What happens when you do this is that you mirror what the circumstances would be if the two of you were to divorce and living your own separate lives again.

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It doesn't take much to completely adapt to these changes and decide that you prefer it altogether.

Needless to say, there will be some situations where there are no other options available and living separately is what is required. However in committing to stay under the same roof, you have a far greater chance of dealing with your problems as opposed to running away from them.

Something practical which you can do to improve living together is each finding your own individual space to use. Next time things get tense, you can use that part of the house to wind down and have some alone time. For this to be effective, you need to respect each other's spaces and not invade them.

It can be very difficult to stay calm during such difficult times, but implementing ideas like this will help to gradually overcome these issues together.

Many of us are guilty of letting discussions turn into arguments by overreacting and misinterpreting what the other person says. A better tact to take though is to try and remain calm and objective during these conversation; register what is being said, but don't let it anger or upset you.

Next time you think things could turn into an argument, ask yourself this 'is what I am about to say going to make the situation better or worse?' taking a moment to reflect can help you to avoid things getting more heated than they need to be.

Working on developing awareness of yourself and each other is what will help you to improve the quality of your marriage. So before anything else, let that be your guide.

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Most people who are in failing marriages want to save their marriage. Bad marriages are not usually caused by one of the couples falling out of love, or one of the couples looking for a new partner, no way. Most marriages fail for simple and stupid reasons, it could be because either of you is too wrapped up into a career or some other aspect of your life. Or in most cases they fail, because you don't enjoy the company of your partner, and vice versa.

How Can I Save My Marriage?

You can save your marriage by simply putting in some effort into the things you do together. You should have a evening dedicated to spending time with your partner, where you both do something together that you enjoy, it can be anything. I can't tell you what to do, because I don't know you. But I can tell you that this is the most important thing in your marriage, spending time with your spouse doing something you both enjoy, and communicating. Communication is key to a happy marriage, you need to be asking your spouse how they are, how they're feeling, how their day has been every single day! Show some interest! Don't just agree with what your spouse is saying either, have an opinion, respect your partners, have a conversation!

Surprise your spouse every once in a while, let them know you appreciate the things they do for you and your family. It could be something like buying flowers out of the blue. Or even a small kiss on the cheek! Show some appreciation and some love and you'll be on the road to a successful marriage - good luck!

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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A growing trend in the United States today is for engaged couples to take premarital education classes in the hope of building a stronger relationship that won't eventually lead to divorce. Educational sessions, which used to only be required by certain churches, are becoming popular with an increasing number of couples. It's no wonder they are skeptical of marriage, because the divorce rate in the U.S. is at a staggering 50%. While some young people have stopped believing in the institution altogether, others are taking the route of seeking advice from marriage experts before taking the plunge.

Premarital education isn't a lengthy course by any means and won't demand a lot of your time. In fact, most couples go through programs lasting only 8 hours, although other classes might require as much as 20. In return for their effort, studies are showing higher interpersonal commitment and marital satisfaction levels coupled with a decrease in destructive conflicts. The chance of divorce is 31% lower with couples going through the training as opposed to those who do not. These are pretty good numbers for such a small investment of your time.

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In the 1950s, only 12% of couples took some type of premarital course. Today the number is around 44%. A lot of the reason for the increased popularity is the trend of thinking that education is important in every aspect of our lives. Although these programs aren't available to everyone who is going to be married, the studies have shown that all ages, races, religions, and social stratas will benefit from being a part of them. To help provide premarital education for more people, a two-hour DVD course has been created.

Premarital education should not be confused with premarital counseling which is completely different. While counseling consists of sessions involving a marriage expert and one couple, education programs are done in groups. Group sessions do not go into depth on the problems of each couple but are made up of more general relationship information. Couples who are wanting to take these programs should plan on doing so between a year and six months before the wedding.

People have gotten wise to the fact that marriage, just like almost everything in life, is something that they need to learn about. They've become wary of the high divorce rate, and they are willing to do what they can to help their marriages survive.

Now Listen Carefully-

Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here