I Hit My Husband Now He Wants A Divorce: I Hit My Husband He Left Me

It's hard to believe that what started out as a match made in heaven, is now facing it's end. Although you and your spouse have most likely weathered many storms so far and have pulled through the majority of them, this time it's different. Your spouse has decided that the marriage isn't going to work or believes that maybe the marriage should end. You're overwhelmed with not only shock, but complete devastation that the one you love with all of your heart could even think about ending a relationship that you assumed would last forever. What's worse is, you're not even sure what it is you've done so bad or how to even begin to fix it. If you find your self in this spot, here's how you should start to handle it immediately.

There are a number of things that need to be done to save your marriage. Many of which you will have to discover or fish out through your own due diligence. But, there are ways that will help you discover what the root problem is of your marriage troubles and how to fix them. The main thing you want to do now is to prevent yourself in the beginning from making things worse. Many marriages have met their end not from the initial problem, but the things that were done during the marriage crisis. Things that you can learn to avoid now.

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One of the main things that becomes very destructive during such an emotionally charged time is not having control over yourself at all times. This means that you should keep your emotions under wraps as much as possible, at least in front of your spouse. You can find a solitary spot to express your emotions, although it may be difficult at first, you have too. You have to remain strong and give off the impression that although the news is devastating, you're holding yourself together. You're keeping your cool so to speak, and you're handling conversations with your spouse about the marriage without flying off the handle or getting out of control in any way.

Getting a hold on your emotions from the start will be the best thing you can do for yourself personally and to best serve your efforts to save your marriage. You can't expect to make any progress and keep it, if you're going to knock it all back down by saying and doing things that you wish you hadn't. Some things just can't be taken back, no matter what. Not only that, but sometimes it will drive your spouse to leave sooner if it seems to irrational to talk and deal with you at the moment. It drives them away, by making them want to avoid you. It makes it easier for them to go on with their decision to end the marriage, rather than having to deal with you, it serves as further justification as to why this marriage isn't going to work.

You want to make the marriage more inviting and reignite it's desirability. There's a process to it and controlling your emotions should be your very first step to picking up the pieces. You've built a marriage so to speak and it has fallen down or crumbled around you. Now you have to start over from the ground up and rebuild it so that it will last. And, that starts with having a good plan. Find one that suits you, and put it's steps to use right away so you can avoid making mistakes, wasting time and find some comfort in knowing that you're taking proven steps in the right direction towards saving your marriage.

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I want you to know that I also once cried out for help to save my marriage before our family was broken up. I experienced the ugly side of divorce, living without my father and seeing my mother struggle to keep our family together. I was determined not to let my marriage end up the same way and it took some time and work, but looking back 20 years ago I can say that it was well worth the effort.

You may feel like you are in a hopeless marriage because you have tried before to rescue your marriage only to have your heart broken. It's no fun being in a marriage where every day is a struggle or battle. You know that you are heading down a dangerous path when you argue more than you talk or when you look forward to your spouse working late or going on a business trip.

One of the questions you need to answer is why do I want to save my marriage? Is it because you will miss the money your spouse contributes to the household? Are you embarrassed that family and friends will know that you have broken up? Do you want to stay together for the kids, if you have any? Let me just say that there is nothing wrong if you answered "Yes" to all of the questions mentioned above. Those are all valid reasons for wanting to save your marriage. However, the most important question to be answered is "Do you want to stay married to your spouse? I hope the answer to this question is also yes.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

You see, it is much easier to save your marriage and keep your family together if you want to stay with your spouse. The reason being, you will be able to make changes or sacrifices that are critical for keeping your marriage together, if you want to be married. If you don't want to save your marriage for the right reasons, I'm afraid you will have a more difficult time dealing with all of the day-to-day stuff that comes up in the marriage. You can easily lose focus and make a small issue a big one out of anger or frustration with your spouse.

Your marriage is probably not much different than others where issues related to communication, finances, raising children, infidelity or lack of intimacy is putting a serious strain on the marriage. The key is to figure out how to quickly begin turning around the most serious stuff that's putting a wedge between you and your spouse. If I was able to save my marriage I have know doubt that you can save your marriage and avoid having your family broken up. Before you let that happen you might need to invest a little time in getting some perspective from others who have gone through the fire already and have the scars to prove it.

We happened to attend a "Marriage Enrichment" weekend many years ago and it opened up our eyes. We only had to cover the cost of the hotel. They did collect a love or voluntary offering at the close of the weekend. We were so happy with the results of the weekend we wrote a check for $1,000 to help cover the costs for other couples to attend. It was money we really didn't have to spare from our savings but that's how much we valued the lessons learned and expert advice. Not everyone can or wants to attend a marriage enrichment weekend. In fact, it's very difficult to get both spouses to easily agree to attend. It's sometimes viewed negatively as "couples who have serious marriage problems". I view it as "couples who admit they need some help". I had a choice to save my marriage or try to keep up an image.

The advantage that couples have today is that with today's technology and resources you can pretty much get the same expert advice and support for your marriage in the privacy of your own home for a couple of bucks. I didn't have the luxury folks have today 20 years ago.

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Though it's a long time ago, I remember my first time as a Bestman as it were yesterday. I had been to many wedding receptions before but I've never had the honour of giving a speech, as a Bestman. And because this was the wedding of Fred - my best friend, I knew I had to take this long awaited matrimonial duty very seriously. You know, at that time I had never been married before, but I knew a few things about matrimony and love. I had however gone through a heartbreaking experience with my first amour, in addition to having been through a few passionate relationships with girlfriends. But to be honest I didn't know anything about marriage or matrimony and here I stood thinking about what to say before I proposed the toast in honour of the happy married couple. It happens to be a little weird that a man knowing virtually nothing about matrimony was going to give advice regarding this issue.

I must admit that the night before the wedding I started to panic a little because I had not decided on the content of my Bestman speech and among all the blatant advice regarding loving each other now that they were married, the question now was what should I say that had a twist no one else had given it? So the night hours passed one by one without me having written a single sentence of the matrimonial speech.

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I woke up the next day quite early. Like a mad man I started to write the speech, almost without thinking. After 10 minutes of almost automatically writing loving and matrimonial words in breath-taking speed, I finally slowed down, flopped down on my bed and read the following:

"Today I reflect back to a time when I was a young boy remembering meeting another young boy who quite quickly became my best friend. And now, as his Bestman, stand here before you and that very same young boy, who is now a grown man, happy and filled with affection for his lovely bride and hopefully life-long partner, and might I add to a very beautiful and wonderful woman. My advice is to work hard at your relationship and continue to get to know each other well. Essentially though, my best advice is to allow each other the freedom to continue growing within your selves and to always consider the other's feelings and desires, hopes and dreams. If there should come a rough spell between you, seek out matrimonial advice when you feel you need it. Whether you seek out advice from happily married couples, or the wisdom of experts, know when you need help and make sure that you find it. I am confident that because of the loving passion shared between the two of you, this day marks the start of a long and loving merging of two hearts and two souls with the tools to create a splendid journey the both of you will cherish for the rest of your lives.

To the Newlyweds, Fred and Maria, Congratulations!!!"

I married a few years later. Now I have been married for 15 years and I've tried to follow the advices I gave to Fred and Maria at their wedding. Maybe this is the reason why my matrimony with the best wife in the world has been so wonderful.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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